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    dots Submission Name: the Honest fightdots

    Author: blueorchids
    ASL Info:    30/F/California
    Elite Ratio:    6.43 - 1096/928/91
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1018
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 804

       the feeling of getting the worst news of your life. the sense of inevitable, horrible truth falling like an unwelcome tent over you.

    EDITED for some minor changes.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe Honest fightdots

    frightened nerves, i think
    settling in panicky tremors at the base
    of my neck.
    tried batting it away, make it
    something crawls on me
    eats ...
    It can't ever belong; my too-tickly skin can't
    take it.
    and the nose bleed
    dripppp-ing down
    would be in and of the ordinary if i wasn't
    so cold.
    so faithless
    the unfelt wind, the unheard outcry
    shiver to make it all just

    laying there, Derision ...
    from bottom up, Black and White, i've read it
    tried to believe the
    heinous LIE it makes
    of my life.
    Benevolent Denial makes it garbled nonsense;
    i'm safe ...
    for now.

    Submitted on 2004-04-06 12:43:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this almost feels out of body, dazed, and watching yourself. The nose bleed, "dripppp-ing down" that is great...your talking and all of a sudden, kinda notice this thing happening, a bit out of nowhere...not really startling, but maybe a little out of place...and all the more unsettleling because it is not completely wrong...what is this happening? It becomes an afterthought to the words that refuse to register, and silent air becomes a whirlwind of safety, protecting from the truth...which is all subjective anyways. Excellent write Grace...

    | Posted on 2004-07-02 00:00:00 | by FallenGrace | [ Reply to This ]
      Very original. I've read it all about fear and dread, but you've redefined them. "would be in and of the ordinary if i wasn't
    so cold." Perfect.

    ~ Niphredil
    | Posted on 2004-04-08 00:00:00 | by Niphredil | [ Reply to This ]
      This is thinly controled emotion waiting to just explode.

    Something crawls on me...

    Gave me the goose bumps....very primal.
    Very good writing.
    | Posted on 2004-04-06 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]

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