Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: descend.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wilted_
    ASL Info:    20/f/singapore
    Elite Ratio:    5.22 - 138/110/29
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 914
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 732



    Description:
       a piece I wrote quite a while ago and rediscovering it now, I guess it took on a different meaning to me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsdescend.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    the stranger dwells within -
    bleak and unwelcomed,
    yet uncannily endearing to the spirit.
    the flaw in all known perfections
    marrs us so.

    silent and undaunting
    the silhouette entails truth as it
    creeps back into reality,
    seizing what it desires -
    harping on negative vibes of
    immorality.

    bright lights flashing
    but the dark's beckoning.
    drawn into the syndromes of the night.
    overwhelming, unbearable
    threshold

    of a long forgotten path -
    once ventured,
    now abandoned.

    running away not from
    the monsters,
    but the angels.

    descending.




    Submitted on 2005-05-15 21:26:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Your vocabulary is quite impressive. You use words I haven't even heard for many years. Words like "marrs"...

    very impressed by this poem
    | Posted on 2005-12-23 00:00:00 | by Senna27NZ | [ Reply to This ]
      your wording is just amazing, i loved this poem. it has alot of emotion and meaning.. it was just great.


    the stranger dwells within -
    bleak and unwelcomed,
    yet uncannly endearing to the spirit.
    the flaw in all known perfections
    marrs us so.


    your very talented..
    | Posted on 2005-05-22 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
      You have an exceptionally good wordchoice and imagery going on in the first three stanzas. The image of the silhouette streaming almost ghost-like into the darker corners of the soul. Your term "syndromes of the night" is also well thought out and so apt of a discription.
    It's strange to say that you take us on a pleasant descent into dark emotion, but it's true. You allow the reader to slowly sink into it rather than jerking them down.
    Overall this is a very nicely done piece. You've given eloquent discriptions to such raw emotion.
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    59042

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry