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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: His Lifedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sweet_rayne
    ASL Info:    25/f/canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.86 - 493/464/111
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 742
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 634



    Description:
       this well i dont really remember writing. but i think its ok definately not one of my best peices but let me know what you think


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHis Lifedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Every strike makes him stronger
    Their words tore him down
    His very existence is nothing
    His life is a mistake

    He was made to not dream
    Believe they would never come true
    Believed he was nothing and cared for no one
    His life is a mistake

    One day he changed
    He found the courage to dream
    no longer ashamed of who he was
    His life no longer a mistake

    The day he met her
    His fears fell away
    His dreams became achievable
    And his life was no longer a mistake




    sweet_rayne




    Submitted on 2005-05-16 02:02:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Not bad. But not your best in my opinion (but what does that matter?) This poem is very expressive and not very descriptive. I think it expresses the emotion well, but would be stronger if you used some adverbs I think, but just an opinion. I like it still...@};-
    SAM
    | Posted on 2005-05-19 00:00:00 | by Samuel Bielz | [ Reply to This ]
      well, i'm touched. it strikes me very hard. and it's a good poem. i like it booboo. precious and powerful at the same time. keep up the good work kid.
    | Posted on 2005-05-16 00:00:00 | by frozenflame | [ Reply to This ]


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    59079

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    January 10 07
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