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    dots Submission Name: His Lifedots

    Author: sweet_rayne
    ASL Info:    25/f/canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.86 - 493/464/111
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 783
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 634

       this well i dont really remember writing. but i think its ok definately not one of my best peices but let me know what you think

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHis Lifedots

    Every strike makes him stronger
    Their words tore him down
    His very existence is nothing
    His life is a mistake

    He was made to not dream
    Believe they would never come true
    Believed he was nothing and cared for no one
    His life is a mistake

    One day he changed
    He found the courage to dream
    no longer ashamed of who he was
    His life no longer a mistake

    The day he met her
    His fears fell away
    His dreams became achievable
    And his life was no longer a mistake


    Submitted on 2005-05-16 02:02:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Not bad. But not your best in my opinion (but what does that matter?) This poem is very expressive and not very descriptive. I think it expresses the emotion well, but would be stronger if you used some adverbs I think, but just an opinion. I like it still...@};-
    | Posted on 2005-05-19 00:00:00 | by Samuel Bielz | [ Reply to This ]
      well, i'm touched. it strikes me very hard. and it's a good poem. i like it booboo. precious and powerful at the same time. keep up the good work kid.
    | Posted on 2005-05-16 00:00:00 | by frozenflame | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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