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    dots Submission Name: Empty Coredots

    Author: SouthrnQT
    ASL Info:    24/ Female/ Florida
    Elite Ratio:    4.51 - 290/271/31
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Poetry/Alone
    Total Views: 1483
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 797

       It's amazing what one person can do to someone isn't it?

    I think love should be outlawed

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEmpty Coredots

    Embroiled by your actions
    Kept here awaiting your excuses
    Such a silly girl I am, such a silly dream I had

    I look back, only to envision smiles...in vain
    Invaluable laughter, wasted on your ears
    Time taken
    You raped me of precious moments...deflowering my innocence

    Selfish deeds leave me bewildered
    Crying unseen tears, masked by naivety
    Mislead by a smoothe tongue, a fabricated grin
    Oh....you knew what you were doing
    Turning my existence into your playground

    Where do I stand now?
    Thank you. Thank you for opening my eyes
    Finger painting my sorrows, like an adolescent
    Never again will I trust in love.

    Submitted on 2005-05-16 09:14:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i really liked this, it showed alot of emotion. Its so hard to be hurt by someone you put everything into...and its even harder to do it again. You brought that out very nicly.
    good write-
    | Posted on 2005-05-24 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, beautiful, vibrant, and also painful and dark. amazing piece. your thoughts are written in short chunks, but each is pregnant with imagery and this tells a story not only honest but also one that many can relate to. i have a suggestion: i think you should change "worthless" in line 6 to "Invaluable". the laughter's worth comes from its source (you) and not its unappreciated end (him). make sense? daddy like ;)
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      Man, pretty powerful message here that most can relate to. I too believe that you shouldnt say the "L" word unless you reaaaaallllllllllyyyyyyy, really mean it. Hearts are fragile and shouldnt be used as playthings just so someone can get something out of someone else. but I also believe that just sex isnt the answer either...because it is a small part of the whole of things. Your body is your temple and you shouldnt just let anyone disgrace that temple, ya know? Anyway nice write on a tough subject. Have a good one and keep writin'
    | Posted on 2005-05-16 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      did you mean to write "disarray" babydoll?
    love is overrated and i feel that people are in love with the idea of being in love...most people just settle for someone because they don't want to be alone...excellent write and food for thought...btw i think you misspelled naivety or naivete and existence...sorry i've always been like this...
    i won the spelling bee in fifth grade...hehe

    | Posted on 2005-05-16 00:00:00 | by pestiferous | [ Reply to This ]
      wow.. I could literally feel your pain.. as it was my own wow.. been there done that too and ewweee it don't feel good lol.. I hung on every word through it all and never had to back up and relook this was great!... wow

    | Posted on 2005-08-12 00:00:00 | by pennymarie | [ Reply to This ]

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