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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Car Seatdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ajyra
    ASL Info:    18/female
    Elite Ratio:    4.19 - 65/57/22
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 276
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 613



    Description:
       This is about a couple, that keeps getting back together, although they probably shouldn't. It's sorta dedicated to a situation I'm in right now..... And a little inspired by the song "White Houses" by Vanessa Carlton.
    I'll love you for comments!!!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCar Seatdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The feel of sweat
    A tear in the seat,
    The car an oven.

    Palms sweaty,
    Faces warm,
    Together.

    He looks down,
    She looks up,
    Eyes closed.

    He feels her,
    Beneath him,
    breathing.

    She feels him,
    Upon her,
    Breathe withheld.

    He's in love,
    moving in the heat.

    She's in hate,
    still in the cold.

    Both lose
    Their heads.

    But

    He lost his heart,
    She broke it apart,
    All over again.




    Submitted on 2005-05-16 17:00:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I have nothing negative to say about this. Its amazing. I know what its like to keep getting back together with someone even when you know you really shouldnt. He loves me...and I broke his heart so many times. And I know how he feels, its horrible. But Ive finally stopped that and now were just real good friends. But anyways, enough of me rambling.

    I dont really know what else I can say about this besides I like a lot. Great job :-)

    *nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-05-16 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      ok,ok! summer loving...(no grease fans?) sorry... its the heat, as well as the sexual frustration!;). everything was perfectly intuned with a high school romance: the summer edition! every teen has sex in a car, at one point or another, and it sucks! (don't try it, its painful ... i simply warn.)

    but the part where he loves her , and she brakes his heart is perfect Emo-love! splendid...
    im sorry its the end of my Junior year and thats what its been all about. not that that mattered, but it plays an important role in my comment.
    everything in the poem is simply laid out so that there is no way to miss the message ans sometimes you need that.
    | Posted on 2005-05-16 00:00:00 | by butterfly wings | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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