Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Behind Those Fucked Up Eyesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Chicool2
    ASL Info:    17/f/Pennsylvania
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 266/260/60
    Words: 152
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 943
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 975



    Description:
       Just something I needed to write..........


    Yes, this is true. All of it


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBehind Those Fucked Up Eyesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    BooM!
    In a second the blast had ended
    My fears had relapsed all at once
    To the way I used to be

    Drinking
    And
    Thinking
    Of you

    When I saw your eyes
    I was scared
    Because it was fucked up behind
    I couldn't understand
    How this shit took over me
    All at once

    I didn't want to return
    To this kind of logic
    Thinking of you
    Between every breath
    Because behind those fucked up eyes....

    I saw some truth
    I saw happiness
    I saw a lot of things you had never seen
    I saw beyond those deep eyes
    That made my skin tingle and my knees weaken
    I just needed you so
    To be my one, my only
    To complete my evergrowing world
    To be part of my future

    And to help you see beyond
    Those Fucked up
    Deep Blue
    Effervescent
    Eyes...




    Submitted on 2005-05-16 19:30:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      [censored] incredible. that was brilliant work. it happens to everybody and i think that's the appeal of it. i love someone that i don't want to and everybody says to let it go but how can you help it?~nahlij
    | Posted on 2005-05-31 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
      ahh honey this is amazing. with all the ones below me...i was left speachless upon reading this. you captured these emotions so well and really made me feel it. wow, has to be in my fav's! honestly can't speak right now... (clap, clap, clap, clap) ((stands to clap some more))
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by _winky_ | [ Reply to This ]
      When I saw the title it sounded familiar.. there is a song called behing these hazel eyes.. Oh well, at first i thought you were talking about his legs...
    But its really emtional, sorry I don't have a lot to write... its just I got to go...
    stephanie
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by XxStephyxX04 | [ Reply to This ]
      Fu<king MASTERFUL! Youíre 14? For serious?
    Thys is some top notch shyte right here! Fu<king unbelievable!- your way with words is utterly mind-blowing. I thought I was pretty good- AND Iím old! You keep thys up- I can only imagine where youíll go!
    ...And trust me- I donít kiss @$$ lyke thys. So feel honored. Lolful!
    I agree with below- change NOTHING- thys is... wonderfully painful...

    Peace, love and yellow jackets- The Madd One~
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
      YES! I LOVE THIS ONE! made me feel emotions i cant describe...really made me feel them....the part i liked best was the last stanza, this is a perfect poem. nothings wrong with it, that i can see and judge in my point of view. wow this is REALLY amazing! one of my new faves!

    -leandra
    | Posted on 2005-05-16 00:00:00 | by Nirvana | [ Reply to This ]
      oh this is sooo damn gud! u r massively talented - got me feeling strong emotions. especially loved the " i saw . . . " repetition
    Keep spreading the love
    Nadia*
    | Posted on 2005-06-01 00:00:00 | by AfricanPrincess | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really good. I can definitely relate. I love someone I don't want to love. It's a lot harder to actually let go than it is to say it. Nicely done. I think a lot of people can relate.
    | Posted on 2005-06-10 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      Let it out honey...let it all out! You did a great job with expression. You clearly spoke your mind with nothing held back. I admire that in you. You kept it very simple yet straight to the point.

    He sounds to me to actually be pretty blind with those blue eyes.

    *shrugs*

    li li
    | Posted on 2005-08-23 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    59186

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry