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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Midnight Twilight (Part III)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: WindEmpress
    ASL Info:    15/f/meditating
    Elite Ratio:    3.15 - 95/124/44
    Words: 277
    Class/Type: Story/Misc
    Total Views: 174
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1515



    Description:
       I'm so happy that people think this is so good! Sorry to say this, but I think this one wasn't as promising as the first two. But that's me . . . I haven't had much time to work on this, so please don't kill me!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMidnight Twilight (Part III)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Lika tried gasping for air in the churning rapids as they dragged her under, keeping her away from the air she desperately needed. She cursed the water sprites for dragging her under the river’s water’s that she loved to listen to everyday, she cursed the humans for their attack, and she cursed the dress she wore that helped to drag her under each time. Lika fought to get her head above water but she was dragged back under before she could ever take a breath. Maybe I should have stayed with my family and let the enemy kill me with a swing of his blade upon my throat, it would seem much better than drowning in the river.

    “Don’t fight the rapids! They’ll only drag you under if you continue fighting!” the boy called from behind Lika. She could only catch glimpses of him as she was drawn below the surface of the churning waters but she couldn’t surface again. She lost her sight as the waters turned to a numbing cold and her body became rigid as her lungs filled with water.

    The boy quickly spun around, checking to see if the girl was with him but as he turned, he noticed that there were no movements behind him. He was used to swimming in rapids but this was the Serpentine River, known for its unforgiving rapids and deep waters. He pounced forward in an effortless bound forward and dove underwater, searching for her arm. She was on the bottom of the river, lifeless. He began to panic as he frantically swam deeper and deeper into the depths of the dark river.




    Submitted on 2005-05-16 21:03:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Lovely as ever dear. A bit short but that's ok. As I always tell people, forced writing is never as good as when you just let it roll off of you. ~SirensSong~
    | Posted on 2005-07-26 00:00:00 | by SirensSong | [ Reply to This ]
      Dont worry, its just as good as the other parts... only rather short! You are really talented, im so hooked on this story, its really good. You must have some imagination to be able to write so well. I can't write unless I am basing it on facts or experiences. Well good job and I hope to read more, dont stress about trying to write it quickly, its better to do a really good job than to rush it and not make it as you would have. Maybe when you finish I can help you, just there are some typos and some sentences can be re written a bit better. But the story itself is absolutely fantastic, awesome work!
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by dark-red-pain | [ Reply to This ]



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