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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Orgasmic Breakfastdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: SouthrnQT
    ASL Info:    24/ Female/ Florida
    Elite Ratio:    4.51 - 290/271/31
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1758
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 633



    Description:
       The ultimate way to wake up in the morning. Mmmm.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOrgasmic Breakfastdots
    -------------------------------------------


    My body stirs, my senses reeling
    Awakened, aroused with this intoxicating feeling

    Hunger so raw, Thirst for sin
    Craving your soul...buried within

    Ignited flames, scorch deep inside
    This animalistic passion now takes me for a ride

    Ascending lust, delving into pleasure
    Praying for release, fulfilling this endeavor

    Molded together, in ecstasy we fly
    Desire fills the room, echoed in sweet sighs

    Tidal waves of potency, belabor through your veins
    Screaming out in euphoric bliss
    As one...we remain......




    Submitted on 2005-05-17 08:55:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow. This is a nice piece. You are very creative and talented. From my perspective, this poem reminds me of making love in the morning. It reads as if one has a hunger for love as his/her breakfast. Very very very... excellent.
    | Posted on 2006-01-16 00:00:00 | by Heat | [ Reply to This ]
      mmmmmmmmmmmmm again a very nice piece that brings about wonderful thoughts and feelings...there is nothing like those early morning feelings :) and its even better when you can fulfill them
    | Posted on 2005-09-09 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      Ahhh! You delivered this time!!

    This was actually amazing, It flowed so well and the rhyming was wonderful. You managed to be erotic and sensual and almost spiritual at the same time.

    Another enjoyable resd! You are really good!

    Steve P.S. you look pretty amazing as well!
    | Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
      um..wow, u expressed wut so many of us often feel and u put into words veeerryy nicely.some of us will enjoy putting ur words into "action". =P

    nice job!

    -amanda
    | Posted on 2005-06-25 00:00:00 | by ilikescreaming | [ Reply to This ]
      I was never one for breakfast cereals, or toast, or friut - but this kind of breakfast I will say 'yes please' to every time!

    Very erotic, but without being overly so - you've kept the balance nicely, and that adds to the poem. I like the fact you have 2-line stanzas...it keeps the slightly dreamy feeling of being just barely awake and losing your sense of morning to lust...yummm

    The only things I was not sure about were the capitlasation of 'Thirst' - how is that significant?, and the 'screaming out' in the last stanza...it felt like it kinda broke the dreamy feel of the piece...

    Thats just an opinion, though - so feel free to disregard

    I hope you never run out of breakfast food :P

    All the best,

    Katia
    | Posted on 2005-05-26 00:00:00 | by ThaCrib | [ Reply to This ]
      it is the perfect way to start the day, is it not? Your quick hitting rhymes worked well and nothing like a little eroticism to grab our attention...my only question would be - why "Thirst for sin"? If you're sleeping with the guy and waking up with him it doesn't sound like sin to me...just wondering...
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
      So explicit, so rare, so uncut and yet eligently goooooood! the constant rythm and style with which the poem is writing really just adds alot to the content. These mornings are definitely worth waking up to. . .
    Keep shakin your erotic ass
    Nadia*
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by AfricanPrincess | [ Reply to This ]
      wow... sensual without being pornographic. classy, not trashy. haha, sorry lemme stop. i would love to wake up to that in the morning. well, i must agree with shanu. sex poems really attract people. *pervs* hahaha, great job. ...bb...

    XoXo
    ~TaY~
    | Posted on 2005-05-21 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]
      geez.. im just commenting on the comments.. Its amazing how a poem about sex can really draw the comments.. maybe I should call my next poem "sex orgy" or something..
    But yeh it was a good poem.. im human too, thats why i read it.. nice title.
    | Posted on 2005-05-20 00:00:00 | by shanu | [ Reply to This ]
      a nice way to start the day and people this doesn't sound dirty .I've seen much more graphic writings in here.nothing shameful about wanting the one your with. I thought this was written very well.
    | Posted on 2005-05-19 00:00:00 | by wildheart | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree that this was definitely a great way to start my day. Just reading this makes me wish my man was here right now. Sad... he's at work and I'll be stuck with my mother for the day... Oh well. Sh*t happens.

    You write surprisingly well, it's a shame that I haven't paid more attention and seen more of your work before now. I'll be chacking it out in the future, you can bet on that!

    I'm adding this one to my faves. And you can expect to see me on your page more often.

    Unicorn.
    | Posted on 2005-05-18 00:00:00 | by Unicorn Poet | [ Reply to This ]
      You write very well and make the notion of waking up most enticing. My only criticism is making something beautiful into something less than it was designed. Some of your references make it seem dirty and shameful, instead of the intimate, wonderful encounter it should be.
    | Posted on 2005-05-18 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      well now thats a nice breakfast, lunch and dinner...i mean...i'm going to be quite now. Or maybe i will tell you that it was a very nice use of words to get your point across.
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by sammute naru | [ Reply to This ]
      well this was an orgasmic lunch for me but :D I didnt mind. lol

    I loved the way you were able to express desire in your own unique way. You were able to take something that we all have mused about and make it an original piece.
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this. I'm actually starting to tire of poems about lust and sex, but this was pretty good. It just seems that hte same words are used over and over again to describe it. I wouldn't know what it's like, I'm still a virgin and proud. Your rhyming and flow were perfect though. Good write, even if I'm not totally feeling it. Have a great and wonderful day!

    Arianna Marie
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by Areinaka | [ Reply to This ]
      i for one certainly agree to a fabulous awakening...the perfect way to get the day started and i must admit my favorite time...
    thanks for making my day and i only wish it
    wasn't the write...hehe

    pestiferous
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by pestiferous | [ Reply to This ]
      nice job darlin! though i have to wholeheartedly disagree with jynx. i don't think this poem has anything to do with love, and everything to do with lust. you make that clear in the third line. but i like the rhyme, i like the flow, and i love how the last line slows and fades, but doesn't end. daddy like ;)
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]


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