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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: You Took Me From My Roomdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 881
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 659



    Description:
       This is kinda silly but I wanted to write it...I thought in the begginning it was kinda cool but then I was like kinda weak in the end...whateverz


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou Took Me From My Roomdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I was sitting there you know
    I was in that place before you turned my world apart
    My world was fine
    I was happy
    This is where I was...

    A room, full of people
    hurting like myself
    One window in the corner
    And your world framed up on the shelf
    A picture of our past, painted by those that put us there
    I was happy here at last, then you had to interfere

    I was sitting there you know
    We were all a bit happy you see
    I was sitting there you know, finally unashamed of me
    You took it away
    it was mine
    You stupid head
    Now I am sad




    Submitted on 2005-05-17 12:04:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this sounded like my daughter when i used to ground her i miss that saying stupid head but not in a bad way i used to let her vent her frustrations with me makes a healthy child
    thanx again i glad you understood faces not many people do i will write my thoughts today and delete 1 so i can post time to clean up site
    thanx sandman
    | Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      Hee, hee...you stupid head? What the hell? You sound like me...I am so proud. Here's to going out on a limb, how many people can include the line..."You stupid head" in a poem. Go Jaz, you rock!
    | Posted on 2005-07-13 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Jaz, you have to be cruel to be kind and this isn't your best but don't worry you'll just hit us hard really really hard with your next piece
    x
    | Posted on 2005-05-18 00:00:00 | by hammyj | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked it till i got to the last 2 lines. the poem would be beter if you just erased them, but if you want them there, keep them , its your poem i liked it though.
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by Rosalynn Annett | [ Reply to This ]
      Well...ummm...Not a bad peice, I didn't flow too well thoug...But thats ok, because neither do Many of mine. The second to last line kind of ruined the mood for me though, I Read it twice, the second time without reading that line. I think you are expressing yourself very well here. Nice work
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by Samuel Bielz | [ Reply to This ]


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