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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Raindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Epiphany
    ASL Info:    42/F/Universe
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 3342/2139/390
    Words: 20
    Class/Type: Haiku/Nature
    Total Views: 583
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 162



    Description:
       Just a rain poem. I keep dressing as if summer was here and <@> lived in California (unless 'i' moved 2 the coast w/o realizing?)

    Just a quick haiku/senryu for anyone that is counting the syllables (i just guess...he he he)

    Great day 2 all and 2 all a good night!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRaindots
    -------------------------------------------


    Raindrops
    F
    a
    l
    l
    i
    n
    g
    D
    o
    w
    n
    puddles form @ my feet
    splashing along




    Submitted on 2005-05-17 18:05:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      breif yet interesting peice that describes how its been the whole week here in my home state.

    We are in a state of denile here about our weather.

    You truely are createive my friend.

    Keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2005-05-19 00:00:00 | by Unicrom | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice wordplay here, as always from you. [Why I enjoy reading your work so much.]. I think some of your little pieces like this would work great in something like a children's mag. Have you thought about submitting them anywhere?

    Peace,

    Joey
    | Posted on 2005-05-18 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      Not going to point out that your FORM is all wrong lololololol ...Tiff you just won't be conformed and I love it! Your raindrop format of poetry in abstract and is creatively YOURS and I am glad you shared it with us. You told relayed your stentiment in very few syllables (i ain't gonna count them either lol). this makes your poem "Raindrops
    F
    a
    l
    l
    i
    n
    g
    D
    o
    w
    n" Now tiff that is cool!
    `always write poetry, Cheryl.
    | Posted on 2005-05-18 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ]
      Very truthful
    Very right on
    Raindrops are falling outside
    And they are falling inside
    Cascading down
    This sympathetic frown
    Good luck to you
    Wish there was more I could do
    Have a good one.
    | Posted on 2005-05-18 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      "RAIN drops keep fallin' on my head..." ...see what you've done, now I can't get that damn song outta my hed :P :P :P

    Oh well...cheers to gravity!

    STw
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by Stwcjj | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. I think its great the way you wrote the words
    F
    a
    l
    l
    i
    n
    g
    D
    o
    w
    n
    just as the rain would fall. Very creative. Great job :-)

    *nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the way you made it into an abstract poem. It's like the words are falling, as the rain is. You could look into changing the @ simple, into the actual word, though. Other than that, I found it a really good reading.
    Peace and Love
    -Aya
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a short but sweet piece. It was creative in the way it was written. It's good to read a nice, short little diddy like this.
    | Posted on 2005-06-14 00:00:00 | by Malcolm Bishop | [ Reply to This ]
      great imagery. playful style, breathes life into your words. good use of @ i think the arc on the a shows the puddle jump at your feet
    great piece
    | Posted on 2005-06-14 00:00:00 | by laniejane | [ Reply to This ]
      good piece something simple the sound of the rain is beautiful to me i've worked outside for the past 20 years and when i smell the rain coming i wait for it to stand in thanx for your comments i will post hunger today so you can view hope you enjoy
    thanx for all your comments
    sandman
    | Posted on 2005-06-21 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice... but I think that if you made the @ into the actual word, and perhaps put a line between falling and down so that it's easier to distinguish between those 2 words more easily. Otherwise, nice haiku
    :3
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by Ajyra | [ Reply to This ]


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