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    dots Submission Name: Vivid Memoriesdots

    Author: Geraldine
    ASL Info:    25
    Elite Ratio:    3.2 - 241/296/80
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 928
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 719

       Again, just thinking out loud...Tell me what you think.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsVivid Memoriesdots

    I'm seeing your face,
    in every image in my mind.
    I'm seeing your face,
    those eyes seemed so kind.

    I'm hearing your voice,
    it's filling my head.
    I'm hearing your voice,
    and all the words that you said.

    I'm feeling your touch,
    the chills run down my spine.
    I'm feeling your touch,
    from the days your were mine.

    I'm remembering the nights,
    that we used to share.
    I'm remembering the nights,
    when you played unfair.

    I'm saying goodbye,
    to my hope for us.
    I'm saying goodbye,
    to all of your distrust.....

    Submitted on 2005-05-18 07:53:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I thought the ending was fine.. it held enough emotion to get out your hurt and what your feeling. It wasnt overwelming.. just enough i thought.
    It would be better if you added more to it but just a suggestion.
    Good job-
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
      yeah i agree you need to add more, you build it up and at the end its kind of a disapointement. you did an excellent job with the repitition. You also kept it very simple, with the point very clear. the format is excellent and it flows great but theres more there. good piece of writing, keep it up.
    | Posted on 2005-05-18 00:00:00 | by Dorian Grey | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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