My Demon by lenotoire

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Submission Name: My Demon dots

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Author:	lenotoire
ASL Info:	32/F/Northern Michigan
Elite Ratio:	8 - 466/177/22
Words:	216

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	392
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1206

Description:
All my writings come to me at night when I search for sleep, but find none.

My Demon dots

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In the shadows he envelops me, like the veil of a virgin bride, and I wonder.
When will the ghost of his presence relinquish my dreams?
Will it not be until I am strong enough to banish him from my soul?
Will it not be until the child I hold in my heart has grown enough to withstand him?
He continues to haunt my nights.
With him come the memories, the pain of a lifetime ago.
In adolecence, the possession of a girl untried, fill my mind to swarming.
Yet, I feel him, as if he is here, not just within my imagination.
Memories so vivid as if they were taking place in this time.
The very first time he touched me, in my mind, I am there again.
I can feel the chill of the rain seeping into my very soul and I am taken back.
Cloaked in virtue, yet, feeling the hunger that hides at the heart of every woman's being.
For that was the depth of my innocence, and the passion that was hidden behind my mask of purity.
A passion that grew to obsession.
I was obsessed.
Possessed by him, by what could be.
In my youth, I failed to see the devil that lie in wait behind those ever changing eyes.

Submitted on 2005-05-18 10:36:16 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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||| Comments |||
  Oh god.. This was an really good poem.. I definately understand the usage of demons and such things. This poem helped me to understand what obsession really is. When you spoke of his first touch, I knew the feeling of wanting to do something so badly, yet having to hold yourself back. I think that this poem is very well-written. Great job and please keep writing!
| Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by RockerRomeo | [ Reply to This ]
  As I've mentioned herein, I feel that the best ideas and poetry come in the waking hours before and after sleep, if not your dreams. Sometimes, you're doing well to tell the difference.

I appreciate seeing a feminine side to humanity, such as I may term it. The demons are real, but don't tell anyone, they hate it when you do that! Thank you.
| Posted on 2005-07-06 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
  As I've mentioned herein, I feel that the best ideas and poetry come in the waking hours before and after sleep, if not your dreams. Sometimes, you're doing well to tell the difference.

I appreciate seeing a feminine side to humanity, such as I may term it. The demons are real, but don't tell anyone, they hate it when you do that! Thank you.
| Posted on 2005-07-06 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
  I see that a lot of your writing focuses on this theme. There's some awkwardness, ex. "Memories so vivid as if they were taking place in this time." It's just not a correct sentences. Mostly, this is exceedingly rough, which seems to be typical from the couple of other poems I looked at on your page. The nighttime sleep writing can have good inspiration and imagery, but I still think you need to put in a lot of daylight time looking at the flow and structure.
| Posted on 2005-05-30 00:00:00 | by dreamexandra | [ Reply to This ]
  You must be exhausted if you stay up nearly all night writing. I am glad you were able to write it though .. perhaps this exorcises those demons that come between you and a good nights sleep. You have put a lot of emotional energy into this and hopefully come through it all feeling a lot stronger for the journey. I hope so. if you are writing to impress you could tidy up the few spelling errors, but if it was simply an exercise to confront your obsession, i shouldn't worry ... get on to your next piece, put your energy into that and leave this passionate night work in the sarcophagus sealed it up tight. thanks for letting us take a glimpse into your world.
| Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by Alter idem | [ Reply to This ]
  Great write. We all have to face our demons. You
truely poured out your heart and soul in this poem.
I think your a great poet keep posting.
lynn
| Posted on 2005-05-22 00:00:00 | by lynn7 | [ Reply to This ]
  i like the usage of "demons" some its a figure of speech to others a very real thing to deal with. i have trouble knowing the difference when people use that term. i agree with blue monk even though he was a little humorous about it. beautiful words though they do cry out. i hope you find your peace and rest. mike
| Posted on 2005-08-11 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
  I porbably should have read this before the other one, as you wrote it earlier.

This is a pretty similar work, with some of the same nagging questions. Maybe I live on the dark side, but most of the activity in the poem is ethically OK with me, though it might not be for other folks.

The last sentence:

"In my youth, I failed to see the devil that lie in wait behind those ever changing eyes."

hints at big trouble, but we don't know what it is, so I guess we withhold judgement.

I liked this one, but I think "The Essence of Me" was better. I guess that's a good thing, since you write it later. In this poem, he's just a bad guy. "Essence" was a little more tormented and tortured, perhaps more honest.

I liked them both though,
Steve
| Posted on 2005-06-02 00:00:00 | by Lost Sheep | [ Reply to This ]

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