Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hypocritical Eyesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bleeding-soul
    ASL Info:    17/m/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.22 - 94/94/14
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 1004
    Average Vote:    4.3333
    Bytes: 820



    Description:
       I wrote this for all the hypocrits and preps that criticise me daily. I hope a lot of people can relate. I want true comments and thoughts.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHypocritical Eyesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You look at me through hypocritical eyes
    Wondering why I'm so different
    Taking every chance you get
    To criticize me with hatred
    You hate me because I'm different
    I hate you because you're just the same
    Same as the other assholes
    Craving the attention and fame
    You think you do no wrong
    You're shameless eyes don't deceive me
    You too,have blood on your hands
    You're a sinner,just like me
    You hide your lies behind a wall
    You wash the blood from your hands
    You push your true thoughts into the darkness
    You bury your crime beneath the sand
    I'm brave enough to be myself
    I'm proud of who I am
    As of what you think....
    I don't give a damn




    Submitted on 2005-05-18 13:00:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Well said. No one should give a damn about what other people think about them and people shouldn't be judging others because they most likely have something wrong with them to. If you get a chance read my poem Deception. It's similar to this. Great write.
    Katana
    | Posted on 2006-05-09 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ]
      The ending on this poem was kind of weak, maybe you could work with it a little.
    The rhyming in this poem was powerful and it didn't fail this kind of write at all, which surprised me a little because sometimes people can't express this feeling of rejection and being different in words that rhyme, so i congradulate you on that.
    I can't really say this is original though. I mean, yeah, it's original because it's your work, but since this is a widely talked about subject, I just can't.
    But this poem was awesome and is going in my favorites.


    Peace....for now or later
    *Toxic*

    | Posted on 2006-05-06 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      For a while I was getting worried, I thought I wouldn't find another good poem of yours, but here it is!

    Yay, The ending is awesome!

    "I'm brave enough to be myself
    I'm proud of who I am
    As of what you think....
    I don't give a damn"

    Forgot your period. I do that all the time, no worries.

    But, honestly, do you hear how good that sounds right there? I do, it was wonderful!

    necrotic
    | Posted on 2006-04-28 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ]
      whoa... thats awesome.
    i bet everyone can relate to that whether they are the bad guy or not. im also adding this to my favorite list. its awesome the way you show how those people that talk about you are fake and dont show themselves.

    You hate me because I'm different
    I hate you because you're just the same

    that was a famous quote and one of my favorites and it suits this so well because its all about that.

    Great write.

    -BLeedingTears
    | Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]
      That is so true I hate how people judge others. Like its such a bad thing to be yourself and be different and stand out. People cant stand the fact that your braver than them and have to take you down. Heres a qoute that I that fits with this poem "Few men who have liberated themselves from the fear of God and the fear of death are yet able to liberate themselves from the fear of man."
    Lin Yutang
    | Posted on 2006-01-20 00:00:00 | by Alura | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this because it is soo true to soo many people and it is especially true to you and me here at Paint Rock Valley...so be happy man casue I sit beside you in sociology and between you and me and COrey (not mine) we CAN totally kick every one in the balls...


    Jazmine
    | Posted on 2005-09-16 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem was really cool. I really liked the end. You should be proud of who you are! Good phrasing! This piece is very original.
    | Posted on 2005-05-18 00:00:00 | by Geraldine | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked this poem because i can relate and it kicked ass...its os full of hate and i think it would really get the attention by someone who feels the same way...great poem.purely awesome!
    | Posted on 2005-05-18 00:00:00 | by intoxicated411 | [ Reply to This ]
      the ending is perfect in my eyes. this is a statement and a statement i know well. i've never heard it put like this. you are brilliant.
    | Posted on 2005-05-18 00:00:00 | by misty_of_moon | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked it alot this is exactly what me wnd my friends got hrough every day its almoast like you are one of us i can relate and believe me i really can i have blue hair and kinda my own style in fact we al have our own style and its the same day after day after day they do the exact same things we do and its only bad when we do it i can really relate
    | Posted on 2005-05-18 00:00:00 | by Demon__666 | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it. but i think the ending is kind of weak. you need to add something, im not sure what, just need to strengthen the ending. good piece of writing. it has excellent flow i really like

    You're shameless eyes don't deceive me

    good job!
    | Posted on 2005-05-18 00:00:00 | by Dorian Grey | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked how you were so angry about how they talked about you, but then you didn't care anymore. The poem itself was a little contradictory, but I think that that was he best part. My favorite part was when you said "you hide your lies behind a wall, and wash the blood from your hands" I think that it had a lot of the feeling tangeled up into it. I really admire you though because it is so hard to not care what people think of you when you have low slef-esteem. Well at least thats how I feel. I can't totally relate with the whole clique thing because my high school only has 50 people in it, but just keep your faith, and everything will be ok. Awesome write.
    ~alyssa~
    | Posted on 2006-04-20 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    59426

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry