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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Far From Good Dreamingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bleeding-soul
    ASL Info:    17/m/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.22 - 94/94/14
    Words: 124
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 774
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 811



    Description:
       I am really in a "deep spell" right now. I love someone to death but they don't like me. I hope a lot of people can relate to this. I know it's not that good but it's how I felt so...ya know? Hope ya like it!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFar From Good Dreamingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    My thoughts and emotions
    Cast in the darkness
    I mean nothing to you

    Can't you just notice
    At least give me a chance
    What do you want me to do?

    Reality is only a nightmare
    Not where I want to be
    It's far from good dreaming

    Lost in the bitterness
    Of loneliness
    Brightness no longer gleaming

    This is torture
    For me and my scarred heart
    Why can't you notice

    I'm drowning in a pool of sorrow
    Add a little anger
    These emotions my heart and soul possess

    I just want to be noticed
    Loved and cared for
    Is that to much to ask?

    No matter what
    Or how you feel
    My love will always last




    Submitted on 2005-05-19 13:20:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    ||| Comments |||
      I can totally relate. Though currently I ain't in love with someone. But that was well said. You words are really good and your emotions show through this poem. Great write.
    Katana
    | Posted on 2006-05-09 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, this was brilliant. :D

    This is what through it off, it may seem so tiny but it did for me:


    "I just want to be noticed
    Loved and cared for
    Is that to much to ask?"

    You spelled "to" wrong. It should have been ''too.'' I know, stupid little things always catch my eye, but come on, your work is so good that I can't find much to complain about, lol. :)

    On to more of your work.

    necrotic
    | Posted on 2006-04-28 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this one a lot. It totally relates to what I am going through right now. See my story is that I'm 14, the guy I want is 23 and that is rape. I always beat myself down for it, but what can you do. Just remember that you aren't the only one going through this despite if that is how you are feeling. I am really glad that I read this though. It had so much more depth than what was said, and I think that it takes a truely talented person to do this. Or maybe it is just the reader-lol NE ways, I hope the best for you, and hopefully you are over this girl now. Just look at it like this, apparently you guys weren't together because you deserve better, or she wasn't worth it. Once, again GREAT WRITE!!
    ~Alyssa~
    | Posted on 2006-04-21 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]
      this was really good
    and yes, i can relate.
    you really brought out your emotions with some of these parts.

    'My thoughts and emotions
    Cast in the darkness
    I mean nothing to you'

    'This is torture
    For me and my scarred heart
    Why can't you notice

    I'm drowning in a pool of sorrow
    Add a little anger
    These emotions my heart and soul possess'

    i could really feel your pain
    this is really a great of expressing yourself and how you feel.
    you really wrote your feelings out well.
    i cant see anything to change.

    'I just want to be noticed
    Loved and cared for
    Is that to much to ask?'

    this just really hit hard.
    these words really ring out to so many people.- keep writting
    jennifer
    | Posted on 2005-08-30 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh, I'm so sad for you. I went through all of this. I know how it feels to sit and love someone, and they barely even notice that you exist. I wish I could tell you that it gets better. Just keep your head up, and keep being your glorious self. One day someone will come along that makes you think, what did I ever see in this other person? Till then, just stay real.
    | Posted on 2005-08-05 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      i relate to this poem alot. its very dark and deep it makes you think and i think thats the most important thing in poetry. the lines were good and the length was perfect i would love to read more of your poetry keep it up
    | Posted on 2005-05-19 00:00:00 | by Scary-shorty | [ Reply to This ]
      very good. liked it as a whole. alot of people can relate to this kind of peom. good job. i can really feel the emotion in this.
    ashley
    | Posted on 2005-08-22 00:00:00 | by star_on_fire22 | [ Reply to This ]


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