Fighting for my life by dancer06

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Submission Name: Fighting for my life dots

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Author:	dancer06
ASL Info:	20/f
Elite Ratio:	4.73 - 232/171/44
Words:	259

Class/Type:	Poetry/Dark
Total Views:	269
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1649

Description:
Sickness takes over. and i am weak again

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Fighting for my life dots

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Pain surges through my chest,
Taking my air away.
shooting up my spine,
i stagger in dismay.

Nausea takes me back a step.
Feeling light headed and weak.
My eyes begin to fade to black.
My future is looking bleak.

Weak knees and shakey hands.
Panic in my every move.
Feeling so helpless and lost.
Slipping in every groove.

Trying to let no one see.
Not the meek and weaker part.
I move like nothing is wrong.
From person to person my eyes dart.

I become lost and dellusional.
Not sure where i am.
Confused and very agitated,
Every question is my final exam.

People are so oblivious
To something I try so hard to hide.
They think im moody and emotional.
To no one can I confide.

"All in your head" they tell me.
Yes, this is all up in my fucking head.
Like its all mind over matter.
Then I begin to see red.

I fight to gain my composure.
I fight for breath in strife.
Im fighting for someone to believe me.
I'm fighting for my life.

(This is to those who don't believe, and don't go through this everyday. to those who don't think that this can exist. I am a victim of something undescribable. you can't even begin to feel my pain. fighting for every breath with bricks stacked on your chest. feeling the pain, the nausea, the weakness take over. like you aren't yourself. i just want to live, and instead i am missing out)

Submitted on 2005-05-19 19:34:13 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
  i think that you did a very good job with this piece. you hit all the key points it was great. once again i am sorry for what you are going through. best wishes lia
| Posted on 2005-05-21 00:00:00 | by lili | [ Reply to This ]
  *Sighs*

This is how I felt last night. .

But, I haven't been dealing with it as long as you...

I just had someone rush me to the hospital. . .

*Suddenly disgusted with selF*

~Abby
| Posted on 2005-05-20 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]
  I'm not going to say I know what you're going through, because it's likely that I don't. But I will say this, I can imagine what you're going through. There have been plenty of times when things have been too much to bare and it seemed as if every breath I took was harder than the last. All I can say is simply this, you have to keep fighting. Not just for the ones you love, but for yourself. Life, although tough and unbareable at times, is, without a doubt, a gift. No matter what hardships we face, there is always a light somewhere to make the darkness shrink away. You just have to look for it. I feel weird saying this because half the time I don't listen to my own words of 'optimisim', but in all honesty, when it all comes down to it, this is what I believe. Anyways, I wrote more than I intended to. All I really want to say is that, even though I'm sure I have no clue what you're going through, I can relate to this very well and I think it is a great write.
| Posted on 2005-05-20 00:00:00 | by HeavensDeceit | [ Reply to This ]
  Every time you inhale, it becomes impossible to exhale, because the sand caves in on you just a bit more each time you breathe... yeah, I feel your pain. You can beat this. I won't beat you over the head with religion, but depending on your religion, if any, God never promised life would be easy. You can get through anything. I did. Im not going to comment much on your write, but if you need someone to talk to let me know. There is a member on this site who is alive because I dropped what I was doing and took him under my wing.
| Posted on 2005-05-20 00:00:00 | by Crash | [ Reply to This ]
  Though I do not suffer as such now I suspect I have had somewhat similar times in my life such as you are going through. When the knots are not only in your stomach but also in your chest (from severe anxiety). To feel sick to my stomach when walking into the house, and to feel sick when walking out of the house! Servere depression is dangerous. Please seek help.

Your poem BTW which is what I am supposed to be commenting on is quite excellent. You have talent - hang in there.
| Posted on 2005-05-19 00:00:00 | by rankamateur | [ Reply to This ]
  *teardrops* i feel your pain... well not REALLY but something similar. i realize you probably want to kick my ass now for saying that but, well, oh well. i'll deal with it. but i do sympathize... i [censored] hate it when people tell me it's all in my head and i just have to get over it! they don't know anything about what's going on and god forbid that they should ever try and understand.
whoa, i'm sorry, i kind of just ranted. didn't mean too. you have a marvelous piece here and i'm glad you posted it.
-the wildchild
| Posted on 2005-05-19 00:00:00 | by wildchild | [ Reply to This ]
  Certain people in this country believe that we can overcome anything through faith in some unseen diety- like that will make everything better. Others say that it's all in your head- nothing's really wrong with you, you just need to get out and doing. But I know the truth. People like you, people like me, and the countless others who bleed from no wound, who cry from no emotion, who die from no cause- we can't "faith" this all away. Our pain is real. All that I can say is just to keep your chin up when you can. Make the most of the time you're up and, when you're down, embrace it as a part of who you are.
| Posted on 2005-05-19 00:00:00 | by Bijou de Mort | [ Reply to This ]
  Brother...maybe i need to write something to all of those who believe, that every day people dont go through that stuff, and can't survive. I've lived like that for a long time, and still struggle with depression and social anxiety day in and day out, but if you do what's right for you, always, stay true to whats good in the world...good music, chillin-friends, sharing feelings writing (like you do) it all be good man, no worries and keep up the talented writes. i just think you could use them for a much more positive outlook on life.

an every day struggle i know,
key wester
| Posted on 2005-05-19 00:00:00 | by Key Wester | [ Reply to This ]

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