Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dead For Nowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Samuel Bielz
    ASL Info:    21/M/CA
    Elite Ratio:    3.63 - 151/182/46
    Words: 178
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 302
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 974



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDead For Nowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am drawn to you like the rivers to the ocean,
    Yet hidden from you like a ghost.
    I am like a spirit to you, lingering in your room.
    You tell me you hear me, you say you love me,
    I know, or at least hope it's true.
    Your sweet lips speak to my heart,
    And I am moved by your gentleness.
    Your tongue weaves the words of the angels,
    Every time you speak to me.
    Oh, How I curse my non-existance!
    How I long for the mortality to hold you!
    My love, grant me my one desire,
    And wait for me in my resurection.
    For one day, I promise I'll be more than a ghost.
    I can see you in my dreams,
    But can you see me at all?
    If only I could be real to you.
    I whisper in your ear when you sleep,
    and you do the same to me.
    But still, we are kept separate by this curse
    When my life is given back to me,
    I want to spend it all loving you.




    Submitted on 2005-05-20 12:01:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hey hun another great write. i am amazed by how your writeing almost entrances me. your a very good writer. i think it flows nicely and you convey the emotion in a great way. i really cant say anything bad cuz i think its really great so good job hun keep it up and talk to you soon
    | Posted on 2005-05-20 00:00:00 | by sweet_rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this poem. Its really nice. Im glad you showed the non existence and well I dont know what Im trying to say. But this was very nice.

    Except, I was a lil confused about the parts of reserection and things. Why is this girl not living. Like what is going on?
    | Posted on 2005-05-20 00:00:00 | by Blindly-N-Love | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked how you conveyed both the warmth of the loving but the desperation of the longing. A few choppy parts, but hey, that just gives it character. Good job
    Traci
    | Posted on 2005-05-20 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]
      Sounds like a prison poem. I know them well. This was a sad piece. "wait for me in my resurrection" stuck out. I relate to that line more than any. I've found myself walking in the path of death and I'm just waiting to wake up. Great write, by the way.
    | Posted on 2005-05-20 00:00:00 | by Jessa | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.