[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Bloom - LadynGold Versiondots

    Author: Epiphany
    ASL Info:    42/F/Universe
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 3342/2139/390
    Words: 12
    Class/Type: Haiku/Happy
    Total Views: 621
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 89

       Another shot @ Bloom the haiku not epiphakoo. Cheryl is brilliant @ these & this one is her interpretation of original.

    As you can see, she can count syllables and 'i' can't or don't care 2.

    I thank her for her awesome haiku talent and help with my haiku problems!

    Great weekend to all!
    Thank you LadynGold!!!!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBloom - LadynGold Versiondots

    Flowering lotus
    blooming their self-innocence
    sanctified petals

    Submitted on 2005-05-20 14:34:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i think there is so much here..between the lines, between the words..with what isn't said...

    but back at ya on the haiku...you are good..

    this little piece speaks volumes to me...

    almost like the lotus is flaunting its innocence...

    like a flower saying i am glad that i am beautiful and humble...lol

    people are like this flower..many are...i almost see a person losing virginity here...and there is pain but also beauty..as the flower matures in its blooming..

    okay so i go places with poems...but ones that appeal to me...take me to those places.

    thanks for this.

    | Posted on 2011-06-04 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Tiff shame on you! I edited your original haiku that means this haiku is YOURS not mine. Now thanks for acknowleging my assistance but the thought is YOURS. I don't know why people have a problem commenting on haikus because they are short. Either the author presented a mental picture or they didn't. If they did the reviewer needs to relate to the author what mental picture they received so the author of haikus (an ancient art) can have feedback and encouragement. And as fair as your type of writing haikus lol Tiff we need to just find a unique name for it so people will stop commenting on the obvious...you don't care about syllable counts or form just the the message. Keep writing YOUR poetry Tiff and have a grand weekend. always love Cheryl.
    | Posted on 2005-05-21 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ]
      Haiku is Sooo hard to comment on because there is so little there and little erea for margin. This is nice and I like that you kept to eastern form instead of branching off to include other topics rather than just nature.
    My only changes would be in the second line so it reads
    blooming in self-innocent
    this just give a more gramatical continuity to the poem although it's discriptive as it is.
    | Posted on 2005-05-20 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree, i usually don't like commenting on haiku, but when you find one that you like and is good it's easier. i don't know much about haiku, save for the limits as far as syllables and the like. it seems most of the ones i've read are about nature, and are very nice. this one included. i'll have to go back and read your version. ...bb...

    | Posted on 2005-05-20 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Outlaw
    The World written by jjd
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Dream written by closetpoet




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]