Never there by Blindly-N-Love

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Submission Name: Never there dots

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Author:	Blindly-N-Love
ASL Info:	17/F
Elite Ratio:	4.61 - 197/141/29
Words:	137

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	273
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	912

Description:
Love. . What more to say. I really do still love him. Say what you want, say I really don't know what love is. Whatever I do know. And It hurts, Im healing a lil now, but I was angry when I wrote this.

Never there dots

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Holding my breath,
Not wanting to live,
Yet, not wanting death,
I've been told nothing but fibs.

Sunny days and stormy nights,
No where to go,
Just living in fright,
I really did love him so.

Staring blankly ahead,
Remembering your lies,
Pretending not to be dead,
While you walk on by.

Sunny days and stormy nights,
No where to go,
Just living in fright,
I really did love him so.

I know you lied about it all,
You pretended you cared,
Yet, you still sat and watched me fall,
Now I know you were never there

Sunny days and stormy nights,
No where to go,
Just living in fright,
I really do hate him so.

I'll always hate him so.
He was never there,
I really do hate him so.

Submitted on 2005-05-20 14:40:08 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  This is a good piece of work...I believe it would be better as a song, but that's just my opinion...It seems to flow quite well, and I can relate to this...you did a great job.
| Posted on 2005-07-29 00:00:00 | by t0_eazy | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a good poem! And how ironic too as it reminds me of mine, "Illusions". Kinda similar yet different! You did a great job describing your feelings in this write! I know all to well how you feel and at least you know you're not alone! I hope you have found someone better. Even though they are few and far between, there are a few good ones out there...somewhere! haha! Take care!

Lorna
| Posted on 2005-07-28 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
  This poem spirals down into the depths of a grim conclusion. Portraying a soul that at one time has loved and slowly becomes poisoned.

By the end the soul is poisoned and holds the love of her affection accountable.

It's a good peice that builds to a conclusive ending.
| Posted on 2005-05-21 00:00:00 | by Unicrom | [ Reply to This ]
  this is more like a song than a poem... thats not a bad thing though. i liked it, it was simple and got the point across.

i like this line:

Not wanting to live,
Yet, not wanting death,

because i know ive felt that before
| Posted on 2005-05-21 00:00:00 | by andnow | [ Reply to This ]
  To be perfectly honest this was like any other poem about love. Some lines i liked more than others much of the ryhme was too forced -I've been told nothing but fibs-and i have to admit that i absolutely hated this line..you sounded like a two year old having a temper tantrum.
| Posted on 2005-05-20 00:00:00 | by brokensmile | [ Reply to This ]
  Well if your still in this relationship please leave.For your sake.About the poem. I liked it alot.if you added a bridge it could be a song.It would do good for the world to hear this song more.No spelling errors.Good Grammar and Punuation stuff.enjoyable to read really sad though.i rate it a 4 outta 5
| Posted on 2005-05-20 00:00:00 | by Rainin_Raspbery | [ Reply to This ]

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