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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Keep your distancedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: steph1011
    Elite Ratio:    2.42 - 34/45/25
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Angry
    Total Views: 235
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 699



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsKeep your distancedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I've had something taken away from me
    something valuable and something special
    My mother bought it for me
    as a gift, which I normally don't get
    I treasured it and used it wisely
    until the day, someone stole it.

    I tried to get it back
    went through a couple people
    to ask some questions
    it came down to 3 people
    which I really want to beat the shit out of

    You can give me it back
    or know you scumbag I don't
    you can pay for it
    its not my fault you are poor
    but what made you still such a thing from me
    My mother gave it to me
    So keep your distance.




    Submitted on 2005-05-20 15:01:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Ok, First of all I get mad when people do this. This is poetry we all know that. But people just assume everything on elite has to be poems. It doesn't have to be. Obviously you wrote that these were random thoughts, I think the two readers need to look, and not assume things. Because they are commenting on something, that isn't what they think..

    I thought it was a little choppy, but if that is the way you get your anger out, if it helps than that is good.

    keep writing
    stephanie
    | Posted on 2005-05-21 00:00:00 | by XxStephyxX04 | [ Reply to This ]
      Didn't really strike me as 'poetry' - more the story of your day. Reminded me of Limp Bizkit lyrics. I'd have liked it more if you described in detail what you wanted to do to those 'scumbags'.
    | Posted on 2005-05-21 00:00:00 | by Von Django | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, I don't think I liked this poem much. You showed a lot of anger, but it seems more like a threat than a poem. Also, some of the lines didn't make sense. Like "or know you scumbag I don't" What are you trying to say here? I think that this poem could be improved a lot. Great try though.
    ~kriss
    | Posted on 2005-05-20 00:00:00 | by juss_kriss | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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