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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: One Last Kiss Before You Godots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Phoenix2004
    ASL Info:    17/Female/MA
    Elite Ratio:    5.69 - 695/470/103
    Words: 174
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1753
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1002



    Description:
       OK, probably not that great, but I was depressed at the time, thinking about how many of my relationships have failed and how, for the most part, I never got the satisfaction of one last kiss...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOne Last Kiss Before You Godots
    -------------------------------------------


    Before you turn your back on me
    And for good, walk out of my life,
    Before that door closes behind you,
    Can I get a kiss goodbye?
    I want one last memory to hold
    For those nights when I can't sleep.
    One last image to envision,
    As I pray you're thinking about me.
    I know things got bad between us,
    But can you doubt we were in love?
    How could you ever think
    You weren't the only one that I dreamt of?
    I can forgive you for the things you said
    When you told me you wanted to leave.
    I can even forgive you for saying
    Never again could you and I be.
    But I can't ever forget
    All the memories we made together,
    Or all the times you used to hold me
    And I would wish it'd last forever.
    So I'm asking you just this one time,
    Before the chance should pass,
    For this one kiss before you go,
    As this will be our last.




    Submitted on 2005-05-21 11:05:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Excellent, that was simply excellent. This was so sad in a sense and it was like I was able to feel sadness and regret in this. I guess I was able to relate in that sometimes I too get depressed after an unsatisfactory relationship especially after all that time you spend in it as gone to waste in a sense because you have no great memories of it. At any course, this was a very nice write. Keep up the good work and have a blessed and most wonderful day and God bless. Thanks so much for sharing.

    P.S don't worry maybe next time you'll get that last kiss good bye... wait I shouldn't be saying that, what I should be saying is that your next relationship be real successful that you won't even need a good bye kiss. God bless.
    | Posted on 2006-05-06 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
      Amazing....I can honestly say that I know exactly how this feels and ya can't call me a liar! lol

    This says more in depth what I was saying in "Before Goodbye" and I'm glad that you had me read this. This whole situation is so painful. To be in love and have that person fall out of love with you is horrible. Even without that kiss, those memories don't disappear. They may fade, but they will always be there. I don't typically do this, but if you have the chance check out my poem "In the Background of My Heart". Everything that you wrote in here is exactly why I hated relationships. Putting so much of yourself into something that doesn't last and having to start over again. I really believe that we never find out the true meaning of love without that initial heartbreak though. It's situations like this that'll make it so much better when the right one comes around though. I really understand the one last (insert word here) though, it brings a sense of closure to the situation. Thanks for sharing!

    Candi
    | Posted on 2006-04-25 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      I remember myself being in this very situation . . . seems to be a common place for each one in their lifes at some time. u've really expresed the desire for one last memory to end the relationship chapter exceptionally well. Definitely easy to read - i especially like the way u used "forgive" and "forget"
    Keep spreading the love
    Nadia*
    | Posted on 2005-05-26 00:00:00 | by AfricanPrincess | [ Reply to This ]
      I cant even describe how much I love this. I cried an unusually lot lol. Its so sad. The wording was perfect and i love the way it rhymed. Great job. I really hope things work out for you. I hear it gets easier...

    .:nikkki:.
    | Posted on 2005-05-24 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      I know many people say this but I am being sincere when I say I relate to this piece. This is something I thought about a lot when I split up with my partner. I remember thinking for ages about the last kiss we had and how at the time I had no idea it would be the last.
    I often felt robbed for not being able to have that one last kiss.
    It still makes me cry now to think about it and I think that shows the strength of your write. It provoked so many emotions for me and i think you have captured the emotion really well.
    It is very difficult to make a love poem stand out in the crowd.
    Great work.
    | Posted on 2005-05-22 00:00:00 | by Star_searcher | [ Reply to This ]
      I would actually like to see this write done without the rhyme. While it is a "love" poem, it is actually, as you say, a depressing thing to have happen. Rhymes throw a happy feel at poetry. I would like to see a write with the same concept, straight from the heart... say what is on your mind, but don't rely on the rhyme so much. See, these writes are very much intended to grab at the emotions of the reader and make them feel what you feel while going through this. You take the depressed, from the heart, angry, betrayed message that this should actually convey, and throw a happy rhythm at it. Don't get me wrong, the rhymes are ok and seem to fall into place, they just twist the potential that this piece would have if it were more emotionally powerful. I learned that on this site. I threw a rhyme at my write, 'Rape' and one of the comments was identical to the one I just gave to you. Not sure if it is still there because I removed the write at one time and then brought it back. I followed that comment by writing 'Sacrifice', which had powerful emotion, not coated or hidden by a rhyme scheme. All in all, this write is pretty good and gets your message across.
    | Posted on 2005-05-21 00:00:00 | by Crash | [ Reply to This ]
      One word, WOW! I know, I have always been thinking about that? Why can't they just spare us one last kiss to remember, and seal those memories? I once had a boyfriend who broke up with me, we ended up walking into the same theater to see a movie we had seen when we first got togther. I asked him at the movies for one last kiss cuz it was the sad part in 50 First Dates. But he said no! I was so mad. It was horrible. I felt like an idiot. I just wish I had had something to seal those memories and not have to remember the person I despise who said no...

    Well anyway, I'm babbling, so I just wanna say, excellent write. It's going into my fav's.

    ~Amy
    | Posted on 2005-05-21 00:00:00 | by Chicool2 | [ Reply to This ]
      well done! the rhyming is a great accent to this work, and it comliments the writing nicely. i dont think it would work quite as well as if it didnt rhyme...but that my opinion. i can really feel the longing in here, and i can feel the sadness and what i might think is happiness. because you will look back on all the good memories with joy, but you want one last thing to remember...and sadness becasue you know once the deed is done, it is like a final rite...you know you have to let go. it makes the decision complete in a way. im prolly way in the wrong direction about this, but its my opinion, right? anyways, keep up the great work, and i hope to see more pieces of yours soon. once again, well done!

    nirvana
    | Posted on 2005-05-21 00:00:00 | by Nirvana | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nicely done, Tay, I can feel the longing in there, and a great sentiment, too: "one last kiss"
    (maybe you never get that, cos if you do, it will never be a "last" kiss you know what I mean?)
    I really admired your easy-rhyme you used here, it's very effective for this.
    Well done indeed
    Be Happy
    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-05-21 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      One last kiss, eh? I like it. Shows how much you care. Even though things are bad, all you can do is hope for one last memory. Ever thought about it being too late though? From personal experience I could safely say that my last memory of my ex wasnt to good. Wish it were all different. It too late to take it all back. When someone hurts you continuosly, you begin to realize that it is enough. The sacrifices and time spent were for nothing. In vain. then you finally realize you can no longer hold the one you love, because of one single mistake. So you let go. Theres nothing i could of done. None of it was my fault. So I set her free. For good this time. If she wants my love, she will come back. If not, thats her fault for letting a good thing escape. Tayla Holman, you have opened up a wound inside my very heart. But no more will I feel pain for the matter at hand. Im done loving sorrow, if sorrow doesnt love me back. Peace and resilience Lita.
    Jonathan Rodriguez-AKA-Saint
    | Posted on 2005-05-21 00:00:00 | by Saint | [ Reply to This ]
      man this piece had the same affect as hitting a gong with a bat...goooooooo yooooooo yoooinnng!

    again I must say the prose feel of this post just works well.

    Funny how we always want just one more last...kiss...phone call...hug...roll in the sheets...good-bye...

    definitely a peice most readers can relate to in a personal way.
    | Posted on 2005-05-21 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      well this poem is good (I would say it is more then good but i tend to look down on love poems because so many people write them) your poem is good becuase it didn't appear to have any spelling problems and the flow that it has stayed throughour the etire poem, for me this poem pushes to to think that a couple had a good relationship but it just went to hell and one party is taking harder then the other, but doesn't that always happen? my fav lines in this are"You weren't the only one that I dreamt of?
    I can forgive you for the things you said
    When you told me you wanted to leave.
    I can even forgive you for saying
    Never again could you and I be."
    and i like those because it reminded me of a problem one of my friends had with a boy once and that we were all there to help her get out of that little rut. I'm sorry that one of your relationships had to end that way if in real life that is what caused you to write the poem
    ~liz~
    | Posted on 2005-05-21 00:00:00 | by Fadingperson | [ Reply to This ]
      did you get that kast kiss???
    loved it i really did, to hold onto a love so pure so true how can you ever let go??? why should you. Your writing is really good and im sure many can relate, this was a great poem honesty emotion truth most of all truth even though you know its goodbye you still want that one thing that will reasure you that it was real. loved it
    | Posted on 2005-06-02 00:00:00 | by Natie | [ Reply to This ]
      You know what that kiss usually leads to. I have asked for that one last time as well knowing damn well it won't be the last. Again another relatable and awesome piece from you. Keep dropping them...

    X
    | Posted on 2005-06-24 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]


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