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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Red Rose in the Darknessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Destined
    ASL Info:    17/f/wisconsin
    Elite Ratio:    5.29 - 86/68/17
    Words: 160
    Class/Type: Misc/Love
    Total Views: 338
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1068



    Description:
       I mixure of feelings in this one.

    I really don't know what to say....

    I don't know, say what you wish.

    (edited)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRed Rose in the Darknessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    This soul, dried up by loneliness.
    Becomes swallowed up by mere darkness.
    Then somehow conquers up enough courage and blooms
    Just like that of a red rose,
    Blooming in the dark earth.

    Everyone is a soldier, fighting within themselves.
    Overcoming suffering, looking for a tomorrow.

    Out of the sleepless, worried dawn,
    The morning sun rises from the darkness
    And slowly unfurls in my heart.
    The soul that knows what it wants,
    Awakes inside me.

    Everyone is a soldier, fighting within themselves.
    Overcoming suffering, looking for a tomorrow.

    I become a new person,
    As I go on quest to your heart.
    Bound to win and my heart to take flight.
    Even if shadows are cast over me,
    I will over conquer them.

    Everyone is a soldier, fighting within themselves.
    Overcoming suffering, looking for a tomorrow.

    Love is the power to give birth to miracles.
    I am a soldier.




    Submitted on 2005-05-21 17:24:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love it nanana i'm going to add it to my favs. there are no spelling errors and the flow is very strong through the whole poem, i get the feelings of sadness and being kinda mad at the same time when i read this, and the feelings of greed and wanting it all, and wanting to start over as another person has posted, this is very strong and full of emotions and i have to say that once again you did it nanana, well nanana you'll get yours tomorrow,
    wuv ya
    ~liz~
    | Posted on 2005-05-22 00:00:00 | by Fadingperson | [ Reply to This ]
      Deep sentiments

    This soul, dried up by loneliness.
    Becomes swallowed up by mere darkness.
    Somehow, this soul conquers up enough courage and blooms

    I wonder about using "this soul" twice in the first three lines.

    Perhaps:
    This soul, dried up by loneliness.
    Becomes swallowed up by mere darkness.
    Then it somehow conquers up enough courage and blooms

    Or:
    This soul, dried up by loneliness.
    Becomes swallowed up by mere darkness.
    Somehow, this mortal conquers up enough courage and blooms

    Also "Out of" in these lines.
    Out of the sleepless, worried dawn,
    The morning sun rises out of the darkness

    Maybe:
    Out of the sleepless, worried dawn,
    The morning sun rises from the darkness

    Or
    Out of the sleepless, worried dawn,
    The morning sun rises through the darkness

    Just suggestions

    Good stuff!
    | Posted on 2005-05-21 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
      Thoughts. I love when asked to give thoughts. You have painted a very nice portrait here. I felt the strength, courage, and persistance come through your words. A nice way to present the concept of love conquering all. I almost felt that you were stuck in depression, or lonliness, and the power of love was able to connect you to your courage. Kepp fighting...

    -Chell
    | Posted on 2005-05-21 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]



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