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    dots Submission Name: Blemish on your Resumedots

    Author: LadyChaos
    ASL Info:    19/F/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.42 - 718/606/95
    Words: 309
    Class/Type: Poetry/Sorry
    Total Views: 1047
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2165

       "I used to be the tight one, the perfect fit...Funny how those compliments can make you feel so full of it."

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlemish on your Resumedots

    My eyes are windows to my soul,
    But I wouldn't know what my soul looked like
    If it came up and slit my throat.

    I'm on a mission with no objective
    Out to prove, that my words
    My thoughts, my emotions
    Mean nothing.
    At least, nothing to you.

    This aura of sadness of
    of "you-haven't-been-yourself-lately."
    Permeates my existence
    Contaminating everything I touch
    I write, I sing
    With its rancid stink.
    I wonder what the others think.

    My broken, ill-written thoughts
    Are stilted and nonsensical
    But they are truth
    And like any sword
    It cuts deep

    Cutting, ah, such a silly pass time
    A silly game you play
    With your safety pins and razor blades
    A silly drugless addiction
    You spoke of the rush
    Of the blinding pain
    Distracting from the torment of the invisible
    How could you have been so stupid?

    But now that I think of it,
    What makes me any different?


    My smiles and laughter are hollow and plastic
    Like the bottles that hold the pills
    The ones that I ate like vitamins and candy
    Only by the grace of God I still walk the earth today.
    Only by the grace of your forgiveness, you still consider me your friend.
    The whole world forgives me--

    But I cannot forgive myself
    I'm a filthy
    Worthless liar
    Every smile is a lie
    Every laugh is another falsehood born
    Every action is just an act, one of my beautiful illusions
    My beautiful delusions, with which I held you captive by your interest
    When you could have saved your attention for something
    For someone real
    For someone beautiful
    For someone who deserves that interest

    Why cant you see me for the sinister, fork-tongued, two-faced hypocrite that I am?

    Loving me is a blemish on your resume.

    Submitted on 2005-05-21 23:01:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      im warning u in advanced that if this comment makes no sense its cuz im about to fall asleep... but i liked it, its interesting... all about being lost n upset w/ urself, which sux n i kno what thats like... though i suppose poetry seems to be better when its depressing, @ least thats how it seems in my opinon... so, sad, but good for a poem...
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by Lisa2789 | [ Reply to This ]
      wonderful display of wallowing in self pity and self hatred. I really enjoy these lines "But I wouldn't know what my soul looked like
    If it came up and slit my throat." that was a powerful line I read so much into that, the lack of trust in yourself maybe even your mind tends to betray you at times also the forceful aggression of the words themselves. Continued... "contaminated everything I touch" was so honest that it conflicts with your view of yourself so maybe at the same time you are also conflicted which adds more to your dimensionality, being that alone says your are in a constant struggle with yourself and others around you. "my smiles and laughter are hollow and plastic"once again a very vivid truth within yourself it adds to the horror that you know these things but still continue to do them and the quality of emptiness is also portrayed well. Hope is always on your horizon the foregiveness is out there but if you never forgive yourself you'll be locked in a rut and continue to do great harm to yourself and others. To say "loving me a blemish on your resume" was very moving perhaps you havent opened your heart up to someone loving you or had doubts about the sincerity. This line is also riddled with guilt and regret very sad and heartfelt, you have a good heart wanting to come out, just screaming for someone to touch your soul.
    | Posted on 2005-06-05 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]

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