[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The Beautiful Onedots

    Author: C. Starr
    ASL Info:    35/yesplz/State of denial
    Elite Ratio:    4.22 - 130/196/68
    Words: 228
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1024
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1438

    Written in 1996

    I know there is no X in the correct spelling of that word.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Beautiful Onedots

    What am I doing ?
    I've been lost in the backyard of every man I find interesting.
    I'm in lust with everyone.
    Lost in a red poppy field...
    All I see is red....
    Drugs and lust have the same feeling.....
    And they both fall in my lap daily.
    Like falling rose petals.....
    Black and un-natural.
    Then I drift away and blow into another backyard everyday.
    A strange numbness takes over my face...
    And it itches...like a deep itch down in my bones.
    My eyes float around the walls.....
    Slow and fading...pupils dilate in and out.
    Passion is deep and I'm laying in the sand.
    People..everywhere... touching me..
    Hands and faces from every direction.
    I roll in this sand...
    Consumed with eXstasy.
    It tingles my flesh all over.......
    You see...
    I'm the beautiful one, she doesn't believe I exist.
    I make men want her with slow, entrancing moves and seductive eyes. Come to me....
    I am your goddess and your heaven lays between my thighs.
    I'm the wild one and so she is here for the world to see...
    Inside she loves it...
    You can watch her...
    You can stalk her...
    Inside she wants it.

    In the morning she hates it....
    Because I'm the beautiful one and she doesn't believe I exist.

    Submitted on 2005-05-21 23:46:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Ok what the hell is that girl in the comment below me hitting on you ?-right on that's what I like to see, people getting along.
    Now I really don't have that much to say on thi s other than it seems almost like 2 poems in 1. The part about in every mans backyard and the beatifull one part. But that's ok I just noticed the tempo changed but you really don't nor do I care for that stufff too much anyway so YOU are the reason they come huh?-interesting-I must stop by and I do have a favorite part in this , I'll bet you could guess;

    You can watch her...
    You can stalk her...
    Inside she wants it.

    ahhhhhhhhhhhh poetry
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm.. th@'s pretty cool 4 a high person..lol..jk. Yeah, that was nice though. I especially liked the "I am your goddess and your heaven lays between my thighs." Very good. You used the powerful feel of "godess" to ur advantage. Yes, I have my own interpretation, but I would like to know ur message behind all this...I'm very curious...is it th@ you bring the men 2 her, ur the reason they come, yet she doesn't notice u? @ any rate... very good. The "What the hell am I doing?" sorta takes away 4rm it a little bit. Good Job. ttyl ciao 4 now
    | Posted on 2005-05-22 00:00:00 | by Aprie Chick | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmmmm...I guess nobody knows what to say about this one :P Either that or they're afraid they're gonna knock your ration off :) I'm gonna have to agree with LameMans Terms on this in that it does almost seem like two poems :)...There's not really a set pattern to it just a bunch of segmented descripitions :) but they are good segmented descriptions kind of all over the place :)

    I did enjoy this one :)

    | Posted on 2005-05-31 00:00:00 | by Stwcjj | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]