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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I will forgive but not forgetdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Angry
    Total Views: 809
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 734



    Description:
       rough draft. please comment


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI will forgive but not forgetdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I will forgive but I won't forget
    And I hope you know you've lost my respect.
    I have respect and I dont neglect
    the people that I really care to protect
    Am I a failure if I got nothing to lose
    No, I'm not a failure, I got something to prove
    to you that I'm not a failure.

    You make my life completely miserable
    You drove me to the edge, you've caused me all this pain.
    On the outside I look fine,
    But deep inside I am dying.

    All the times you beat me
    All the times ignored me when you saw the sighs that I needed help.
    All the times you would lock me up.
    This song is for you mom.




    Submitted on 2005-05-22 13:50:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was a nice piece of work. This kinda reminds me of someone I know, though, not my mom. Your poems seem so sad...but good.
    | Posted on 2006-01-27 00:00:00 | by Raindrops | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow...this is really sad. It shows that you can be a bigger person to be able to forgive. That takes a lot, but I don't think anyone really expects someone to forget in a situation like this. There is a ray of hope contained within your words however, that is quite encouraging. I reallly liked a lot of the lines you had in here. Great job!
    Candi
    | Posted on 2005-08-31 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      if its you this piece is about, sorry bout what happened you gotta keep your head up no matter what happens. the chorus could use some working on but other than that it seem pretty flueint with a nice flow and a very very strong message
    | Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by solemnpen | [ Reply to This ]
      the pain will go away i promise dont hold onto the anger it only consumes you and can turn you into the thing you despise most distancing yourself can work for awhile but you must understand that abuse is a cycle i know once you see that your mom is striking out to quieten her own demons you can find strength your poem was very strong
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by meandmyshadow | [ Reply to This ]
      it kinda seemed to lose it's edge right near the end and it looks like you have a lot of hartred for your mother, (I don't hate my mom I hate my dad) they song is very good and it doesn't sound like any thing that i have heard before, no spelling errors, my fav lines are
    "I will forgive but I won't forget
    And I hope you know you've lost my respect.
    I have respect and I dont neglect
    the people that I really care to protect
    Am I a failure if I got nothing to lose
    No, I'm not a failure, I got something to prove
    to you that I'm not a failure."
    to me these just really stick out and i don't know why but i love them.
    ~liz~
    | Posted on 2005-05-22 00:00:00 | by Fadingperson | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this piece. It shows that you are a strong, determined person that is more than willing to break the abuse cycle. Check out my "Victim", I think you'll get it.
    Traci
    | Posted on 2005-06-05 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]


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