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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Quiet Country Towndots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jengrr
    ASL Info:    20/McBain
    Elite Ratio:    5.85 - 95/104/22
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 723
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1177



    Description:
       This poem is about McBain, a tiny little dairy farm town in Northern Michigan...population 700, so very very small!!! When I moved here 3 years ago, I was furious because I was leaving a beautiful tourist town on Lake Michigan (I love Lake Michigan more than any other place in the world), to come to a smelly little cow town with a bunch of hicks. But this little cow town has gradually grown on me, and now I'm enchanted by the simple pleasure in living here.


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    dotsQuiet Country Towndots
    -------------------------------------------


    I love the simple beauty
    Of the quiet country town
    The rolling fields of green and gold
    Bright red barns, prancing horses
    The gentle flowing river, dark cool forests
    And cheery little houses
    Brick with Black shutters
    And white-washed fences

    I love its sweet strawberry summers
    Snatches of laughter with
    Black and white cow patches
    Patterned against
    Fresh green grass,
    Deep blue sky,
    And puffy clouds

    I love its crisp apple cider autumns
    With dark crimson,
    Flaming pink and brazen gold
    Edging the bright azure sky
    And draped across
    The frosted ground


    I love its vanilla frosting winters
    Icy cool flakes
    Whispering
    Dancing, swirling, drifting
    Sipping hot chocolate
    And gazing upon
    The flowing white
    Pure and Breath-taking

    I love its cherry blossom springs
    Gentle pink buds dotting
    The soft new land of green
    And sprouts upon
    Dark upturned soil
    Then
    Clean
    Refreshing
    Rain




    Submitted on 2005-05-22 14:09:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow! Such captive imagery! My favourite lines are definitely "crisp apple cider autumns" and "vanilla frosting winters", the idea of connecting food with seasons...that is proper ace! And the "apple cider" and "vanilla frosting" are the perfect foods to describe the seasons, spot-on...they are very playful but accurate, kind of like those Crayola crayon names I remember from elementary school ("tickle-me-pink" and "purple moutain majesties").

    I think it's genius to end with the short, simple lines,
    "Then
    Clean
    Refreshing
    Rain"
    just because rain has like...a "clean", cleansing connotation, you know, like just washing it all away...every word you chose was so perfect, very deliberate.

    When I was younger, I used to want to move out into the country (I live in New York, and I wanted to have a ranch in Montana or something, heh heh) and this poem has definitely rekindled that fire! I know people tend to think that the countryside is "boring", but it's definitely more laid-back and a lot more relaxing than anywhere else in the world...it must be really beautiful where you are, I'm so jealous.

    Keep up the awesome!
    TRAVWELL!

    PS: Thanks so much for your comment on "SHE NAMED HER KID SUPERMAN" and "superstardom." I really appreciate your in-depth comments, haha, I always love hearing people's thoughts! I'm glad your parents are very supportive of you, and that you enjoyed the format of "superstardom." I think the great thing about writing is that it IS an art, and you can be very flexible with it...some people get so stuck on grammar or rhyme schemes that they don't say what they really mean. I like making up structures or messing up punctuations, experimenting so I can make the words express what's going on in my head.

    Oh yeah this is kind of random but...nice vocab! I definitely just looked up what the word "asinine" meant...haha...

    Anyway, thanks again for your insightful comments!
    | Posted on 2006-10-19 00:00:00 | by travwell | [ Reply to This ]
      This is such a refreshing, delightful poem! It was such a pleasure to read. Your descriptions are just great. The way you described the seasons and the black and white cow patches really is well done! I can smell the apple cider and the sweet strawberries indeed! And to think you didn't want to live here! It sounds so quaint and peaceful. This is a wonderful write! Really nice job!
    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      When I saw the title, I had to read this one because I live just outside of a very small tourist town and I absolutly love it!
    It is hard to beleive that this was written by someone of your young tender age. You give wonderful descriptions. Keep up the good work!

    DJ
    | Posted on 2005-07-17 00:00:00 | by Doris Jean | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, you must have thought about this for a while. You've taken me on a years' journey through all the different pictures of the town, with very pleasing images.
    It sounds a lot like where I used to dairy farm, down south in Oz. wet springs, then green grass till winter, great dairy country, New Zealand is very similar.

    Thanks, Jen, you brought back some nice memories, and gave me some new mind pictures to look at.

    Excellent work!

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm a small-town country girl and I just loved the descriptive verses - they alerted the senses and you could just picture this place! I love the way you took simple pleasures and brought them to life for the reader!
    Love,Peace,Joy!
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      ALAS! something else of yours for me to read, I have long awaited this moment, now my dream is finally complete. okay, well...maybe that was a little to dramatic,...sorry. I like this Poem very much, it reminds me of home, even though I have like 3 homes. Victor, Colorado. That town is so small, there's like 300 people there. They only have 4 cops...I miss it there. There is beautiful snow always because it is at 10,000 ft above sea level. Its beautiful, but I don't like living in a town where I am related to half of the people. Nice job on this poem Jen...@};-SAM
    | Posted on 2005-05-24 00:00:00 | by Samuel Bielz | [ Reply to This ]
      Nicely written Jen! You do live in a pretty town, but the smell of cow is bad. You wrote this beautifully and I'm glad that you are well adjusted to your life down there. Nicely donee! Ciao.
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by BrokenAngel | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi Jen,
    I'm sorry to say I've never been to your little town because you make it sound so peaceful and delightful with your writings,but, I do live in a place that is very simular right here in the Ozark Mountains of Arkansas.
    This is a very good write you have here and you should be pround of he talent you have to describe something of such beauty in such a way with you words. i truely enjoy reading you poem.
    Take care,
    !Doc`
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      Wonderful job on this poem. It makes me wish to visit Michigan and see these things. Great gift for description. As for your journal entry, I know that it is hard to believe; but love gets easier and less painful as you get older. BrokenAngel has obviously never smelled a cow and only is thinking of excretement, not the warm smell of hair and milk. I love their rough tongues when they lick your hand. I just like cows.
    | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by greensnake | [ Reply to This ]


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