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    dots Submission Name: Question ( re write of tainted pastdots

    Author: acapone
    ASL Info:    32mnh
    Elite Ratio:    1.87 - 24/25/10
    Words: 59
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 676
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 389

       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?

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    dotsQuestion ( re write of tainted pastdots

    Shattered souls lost in the clouds
    They scream they scream so loud
    Wishes and dreams melt into the sunset
    Tears flow with every regret
    Broken hearts lay in fields of evil themes
    Blood flows in cries of broken dreams
    life bleeding through every pour
    still it reaches the heart no more
    when shall peace settle my restless soul?

    Submitted on 2005-05-22 16:14:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I agree w/ the others... I think that there should be some hidden meaning but I'm not sure I can quite grasp it... To me it reads nicely but the words all kind of seem as if they have no meaning and this was just written to be written. Essentially what I'm saying is its all iced up but I'm not sure there's any cake! Maybe you could be a bit more specific and exlpore this write a little more...
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by bonita2689 | [ Reply to This ]
      theres a lot of emotion, and it has okay flow, but the meaning is hard to interpret. try and make it a little clearer. i agree with Yclipse this is very difficult to critique.
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by Dorian Grey | [ Reply to This ]
      Hm. I'm not quite sure how to critque it. I can definitely sense some deeper meaning in it, but I don't know if it was properly presented. Do you...get my point?
    | Posted on 2005-05-22 00:00:00 | by Yclipse | [ Reply to This ]

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