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    dots Submission Name: Sp/it Persona/itiesdots

    Author: Sarah Leger
    ASL Info:    15.f.kissimmee,Fl
    Elite Ratio:    3.74 - 436/387/80
    Words: 212
    Class/Type: Rant/
    Total Views: 1120
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1590

       im confused is all

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSp/it Persona/itiesdots

    Hold myself in the corner
    Close as I can against the wall
    Screaming inside my heart
    Threatening to tear it all apart
    Cold as death
    The air smelling like it too
    Knees against my chest
    A little ball
    of human flesh
    Running through the world
    Trying to hide
    From the fact that I'm no longer a little girl
    No longer
    Dancing in the rain
    No longer
    Feeling completely sane
    So much wrong
    Created to make you feel just right
    Poison of the slow death
    Swimming in your veins
    Leaders of society
    Ready to grab the reins
    Protesting the change
    But going with the flow
    Outwardly screaming
    Inwardly properly waiting
    Vomitting on cleanliness
    And not bothering to clean it up
    Take off my clothes
    Cover my revealed flesh
    Full of unwanted pity
    Hide the pain
    That's right, hide the pain
    Promise me the world
    I'll not accept it
    Am I average?
    Am I destined to be some house wife?
    Am I unclassified?
    Not discovering
    No fear
    Can't you hear?
    I'm deaf to your answer
    Go away
    Come back
    Speaking in one big cliché.
    Help me
    I'm lost
    Don't find me
    I'm fine on my own
    Go away!
    Don't leave me


    ©2005 Sarah Raymond

    Submitted on 2005-05-22 17:16:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very powerful write
    I like the flow of your poetry I noticed that in some parts you speed up reading and others you slow down to achieve the true meaning
    I really like that
    Its the sign of a great poem
    Keep writing
    I am definately looking forward to more writes from you
    Take Care
    | Posted on 2005-11-14 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      yeah... ive written me one of these too...
    i think (for me) its that moment when you realise that your out of school and you have to work out everything for yourself... when i went to school i never paid attention nor did i use ther resources i had wisely and now... well... i dont wish i did but sometimes i wish i had someone there who could tell me what the hell im sposed to be doing LOL

    the whole leave me alone please dont bit at the end... i know that too... not anymore but i have known it.
    confusion brings forth great poetry if you can unsensor yourself and just write.

    i think that a bit of this is very cliché though... i mean... it know its hard to avoid clichés as they are only cliché coz they are the best way of saying things but i think its important to own your words... to own your feelings... put your feelings into your words and not someone elses... while its more work its more rewarding on more than one level... promise.

    good luck with everything... really.
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Two words. Totally awesome. I have to say, that's the best thing in that kind of catergory that I have ever read, and to see that you're the same age as me amazes me too. to tell you the truth, honestly, I hate reading writes by people my own age, cuz it's as boring as hit, but wow, I have to say, that's an AMAzing write and the title is true to the core. I could picture it all. All these images flashed through my mind at once, and the world is like [censored] today, so this helped me to feel not so alone. Great write. I'll have to read more and htis is goin in my favs.

    | Posted on 2005-05-28 00:00:00 | by Chicool2 | [ Reply to This ]
      sarah, i've just read "spl/it personalities" and it reminded me of how much pain and suffering young people can go through because of the lack of real information about real life.i don't really know if you are being open about some of your experiences but if you are all i can say is,"never give up.you really never lose unless you die".good luck and fare well. charles
    | Posted on 2005-05-26 00:00:00 | by sickly | [ Reply to This ]
      HOLY S H I T! This sounds lyk me and you all in one. lol This is lyk soooo f u c k ing great its one of my new favorite babe! lol much love!

    Love from Within
    | Posted on 2005-05-22 00:00:00 | by Thinkingofyou | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm what are you confused about is it that life seems to move by in a blurr then your your on your death bed regreting it. Or is it the good things in life seem so far away and unclear. This poem is great i loves it, but the one problem with it is the fact that there is hardly any split personality acts untill the end of the write.
    i hope this isnt how you feel with me around.
    Keep up the great poems.
    Your knight in a top hat
    | Posted on 2005-05-22 00:00:00 | by Ace | [ Reply to This ]
      "Cold as death
    The air smelling like it to"
    The 'to' should be 'too'.
    That was the only mistake I caught. This piece captured your emotion. Sounds like something I can relate to. I'm still confused. Anyway, good piece.

    | Posted on 2005-05-22 00:00:00 | by Delirium | [ Reply to This ]
      All I can say is wow! Just wow! This is amazing! I read this out loud and as I went on the intensity grew and grew. I feel this way all the time. I want to be left alone but I'm lonely. wanting some one to help but wanting them to go away. I love this peice. It's real and intense and so... slap in the face. I could feel your pain and your fear. This is definately a fave. Great job!

    | Posted on 2005-06-15 00:00:00 | by Oli | [ Reply to This ]

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