Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: beyond the boundaries of.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wilted_
    ASL Info:    20/f/singapore
    Elite Ratio:    5.22 - 138/110/29
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 899
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 960



    Description:
       tell me what you can interpret from this. thanks.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsbeyond the boundaries of.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    on the distant right,
    digressing from the beaten track,
    your route meanders abruptly
    to the left
    and back -
    only to fixate upon
    the direction of
    one

    immersed in madness,
    you drip dry with remnants of
    newly-recovered
    rationality.

    they cannot tune in to
    broadcasted waves of your
    unsettled consciousness.
    likewise,

    you are unable to fathom why
    the unknowing ones
    do not sought the kind of
    death
    that transcends
    what even Dowson believed as
    temporal.

    misunderstood by the masses,
    you seek solace
    and euphoria
    in the obliging voices that
    echo within the shifting walls
    of your mind
    which was left
    unhearing
    and
    unseeing

    to the spoken words
    of man
    and their
    motives.




    Submitted on 2005-05-23 07:56:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      There seems to be a lot of protest in lurking within this poem, bubbling near the surface. Certainly the is unrest. This is for sure a very thought-provoking piece of poetry.

    I have to agree though, maybe a couple of less paragraphs would even improve this. As it stands though it's still better than anything i could come up with. well done.
    | Posted on 2005-12-23 00:00:00 | by Senna27NZ | [ Reply to This ]
      Well the metaphors and wording is absolutly beaitiful and i love the imagry, but you seem to be a little pharagraph happy, you put in returns a little to often, i think it would flow better and be easyer to read if you condensed some of the lines, but over all i liked it a lot, my favorite part was
    on the distant right,
    digressing from the beaten track,
    your route meanders abruptly
    to the left
    and back -
    THe rest of the stansa could use a little work but i liked it all the same!
    ~Shadow
    P.s thank you for reading "the path to individuality"! Your advice is always welcome. (your pic is awsome!)
    | Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by Moonshadow | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very dark. I don't know if it sounds political or more of a battle with another and an inner battle within yourself?! Maybe I'm wrong? I don't know. Other then the confusion of what the meaning is...this was really interesting!

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      This sounds very political to me...Sounds like a political piece somehow to me but then again, maybe not. Maybe I'm just crazy. The distant right-back to the left whole thing gave me that idea.

    X
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    60018

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry