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    dots Submission Name: Leaving a ghost...dots

    Author: my_plague_year
    ASL Info:    17/Male/Ky
    Elite Ratio:    2.52 - 26/40/13
    Words: 137
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 615
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 782

       I wrote this the night that I realized that I had destroyed the greatest thing that has ever happend to me, and that she will probably never come back.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLeaving a ghost...dots

    And the clouds they break above our best intentions...
    The rain it pours upon our last kiss.
    Somewhere between the stinging sheets of city rain and the thunderclap, we see who we are.
    And this is all I have, this is all we are.
    The ground shakes with your every smile
    And hearts are crushed in an instant.
    In the dark of our longest nights, we fall apart
    Waiting for our end before it begins, we fall apart.
    The rain it pours upon our last kiss
    Somewhere between the stinging sheets of city rain and the thunderclap, we see who we are.
    Two years then four days, and one sentence later.
    I rise from ruin, this is all I have, this is mine...
    but I want so much more, than a ghost in photographs...

    Submitted on 2005-05-23 09:55:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, this must be my day to find the good stuff.

    I've always had a soft spot for anything in the rain (too many years of living the Pacific Northwest) and the rain can be a very powerful image when used correctly. I like what you'e done here with it.

    "The rain it pours upon our last kiss."

    This line sets a mood for the entire piece. There's this last kiss and this revelation, this incredibly important moment in the lives of these two people. The rain and the storm simultaneously add to the drama of the instant and ignore the moment completely. Whatever happens here in this dramatic, life-altering moment, the rain, oblivious, will continue to fall.

    "Somewhere between the stinging sheets of city rain and the thunderclap, we see who we are."

    Nice work,

    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by Lost Sheep | [ Reply to This ]

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