Description: This is an emotion poem that I wrote for english class, obviously, its all about pain, the first little mini poem just gives a taste, and then the second poem tells a story, about my break up, if you don't really understand it, please ask, I will explain.
***the poem printed is alot better, there is color, crazy fonts, and pictures, but I can't show that on this site....dang it.
My Pain Pays Off -------------------------------------------
Bloody pain leaks cherry through a violet sky.
It sounds like shrieking blades on jagged glass.
It tastes BiTtEr like garlic to a vampireís throat.
It smells like acid eating at flesh.
Filthy pain feels like drowning in an icy puddle.
My Pain Pays Off
A monsoon cautions me,
a wretched nightmare begins
my throbbing indigo veins are bleeding a bitter wine.
Swallowed, s t u t t e r e d
Iíve been LYING to you
my frayed mind cracked and died.
Mapping out my plan,
he art is splitting sharp
pinpointed the perfect target
easiest to take advantage of
body is rotting
scars develop with habit
make him feel he isnít there for *me*
my love convinced
a long awaited return
my egotistical plan succeeds.
Broke two innocent hearts
but my beloved ambled back to me
!did it on purpose!
afraid of losing a fire that is mine.
slashes yet another scar upon my ivory flesh,
upon my sun kissed star.
I love you
here with me.
Thirty-nine 39 raw slits drip like raspberry gloss
bleeding pain for every decision.
his clean hand is in *mine*
The hurt, destruction brought upon me
but all is well, I prevail.
Iíve been LYING to you i don't know why but i really like that line with the rest of the poem it just stuck out and made me i don't know how to explain it better but i liked it alot and the line about the monsoon. heck i liked the whole thing thank you for sharing. loved it i love the last two lines also love it Sorry when i like something i get going hehe Vynom
Wow, this is good. I really like the imagery here and the descriptions you use throughout this poem is really great. Gives me a good sense of what is happening and the surroundings as well. This, to me, reads like manipulation. He left you and you used some dreadful tactics to bring him back to you? I am not sure if I got this interpretation right but this is what I got from it. A very powerful and effective poem. Nice job with this. Take care.
The way in which this was written was original, I liked the use of words. The imagery was good, albeit unconventional. I liked the feel of this. I'm not quite sure if I get it, I would be grateful if you explained it.
excellent work as always ViciousWriter. From an old friends point of view you have only gotten better with your writing as time goes on. "Iíve been LYING to you my frayed mind cracked and died. Mapping out my plan, he art is splitting sharp pinpointed the perfect target easiest to take advantage of body is rotting scars develop with habit lies, hate" very deep my dear. great job.
The image I'm getting is using pain and suicide attempts to manipulate a lover into returning. The lines
"Iíve been LYING to you my frayed mind cracked and died."
"make him feel he isnít there for *me*"
"my love convinced a long awaited return my egotistical plan succeeds."
"!did it on purpose!"
"the megalomania The hurt, destruction brought upon me but all is well, I prevail."
My ex-wife once used this technique with me, definitely one the most difficult things I ever had to deal with. How do you respond when someone looks at you with a knife on her wrist and demands something of you?
So you endured this pain...on purpose...and it paid off? Is that what you are saying? Like you wanted the pain to be there in order to get what your selfish needs desired? Am I close or am I really far off? LOL Man...this was a good one! One that actually made me think!
I was thrown...I'm lost...I was on my way to getting it but then the thirty nine just threw me off becasue now Im thinking it's about Jesus' crucifixion. I'm sorry but I am lost...Maybe you should give more details in this one's description.