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    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sketchesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Forgiven
    ASL Info:    27/F/Fl
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 305/260/57
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 268
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 601



    Description:
       I'm terrible at drawing people and there is this certian someone I cannot get out of my mind...he is beautiful.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots Sketchesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Upon the paper it is drawn
    But never as beautiful
    As my eye sees.
    No stroke
    Nor brush
    Could make the image
    What it is in flesh,
    Or in my mind.
    To me it is perfection
    In every sense that the words holds.
    I’ve found serenity
    In this face
    That keeps me sound in my sleep,
    And alive in my dreams.
    Every stroke of the pencil
    Makes you that much closer
    To being within the touch of my hand.
    And until that time is present
    I will close my eyes
    and wait for my muse.




    Submitted on 2005-05-23 11:26:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I WISH I could draw the images that are in my mind...but I can't draw worth two [censored]s...I guess that is why I paint word-pictures, instead. Got to nod to the talent that is and acknowledge the one that is not...

    This was good, but please edit the typo...should be "never AS beautiful..."
    | Posted on 2005-05-24 00:00:00 | by Emerging Soul | [ Reply to This ]
      oh wow! really nice beautiful work. it is easy to understand, and the emotions can actually be felt. i felt longing, and a little biut of joy and sadness. the pictures you painted in my mind rocked, its like im watching the scenes you made, as if i was right there! good job! keep up the good work! i wanna read more of your pieces!

    love always
    nirvana
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by Nirvana | [ Reply to This ]
      this is pretty, I think this is the best alternative for someone that struggles with drawing, usually its a lame excuse of I can't draw so forget it, you actually took the time to illustrate a beautiful piece of art through words, excellent work!
    Vicious :)
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by ViCiOuSWrItEr | [ Reply to This ]
      Aww how sweet... I know how this goes... try to draw someone just as you see them but you can't seem to get it right.
    Well good luck on your drawing.
    Now for this poem :)
    I usually despise mushy gushy love poems... but I don't think this one classifies under love.. least it wouldn't in my book.. you're really only talking about how beautiful this boy is.. hmm this is hard to explain..
    By the way, you made a typo on line too :)
    -Alli
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by Childoutspoken | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really nice.

    I like the way you've moved beyond the clichés, beyond "I love him" or "He's so hot" and into something personal. We learn more about you than about him and that's what good poetry can do.

    I think you might have one typo: in the second line, were you looking for "But never AS beautiful"?

    Great work,
    Steve
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by Lost Sheep | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a very smooth write! I really liked it! The way you put the emotions together and how you described them...simply awesome! I could feel the longing and the sorrow. Yet also felt the happiness and the hope!

    Great!

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a nice, simple and beautiful piece. You can actually feel the longing in the atmosphere. Plus the imagery was hot as I see this sketch on a notepad of someone or something very dear and actually watching it come to life and walk off of the paper. Beautiful job...

    Brian
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
      I kno exactly wat you mean... as an artist I'm supposed to be really good, but my people look... afflicted.
    I like the poem, and how it relates to one of my favorite subjects-obsession. How often do you see someone linking art and obsession this way? and you have a very unique style...

    I don't have a lot to say, no suggestions... it was a GREAT read, very smooth and heartfelt.

    ~Akhi
    | Posted on 2005-06-03 00:00:00 | by Alize | [ Reply to This ]
      all poets and artists try to express themselves on the page, sometimes falling short of what is actually felt and seen... we try to reach deep into our hearts and souls to touch that experience, listening to the muse. transferring it to the page isn't always easy... i like the end where you close your eyes, waiting for the muse. we cannot force it.. silence and acceptance to what will be is the way..
    ah, i think i'll sit in the silence for a bit...
    peace&muses
    @ Cat
    | Posted on 2005-08-22 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]



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