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    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Afraiddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ShatteredGlass
    Elite Ratio:    2.75 - 21/26/9
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Misc/Dark
    Total Views: 202
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 710



    Description:
       tell me what you think - I'm letting myself free.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAfraiddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Are you afraid?
    Wandering the night lost within the lust
    Are you scared?
    A single will, a single thought, something I just plain must
    Are you shaking?
    Drumming, drumming, in my mind
    Is your heart pounding?
    A rhythmic pulse I must find
    Are you running?
    Quickly now, I’m at your heel
    Are you losing?
    Hurry now, I fear not to steal
    Are you dying?
    Lay back, open your throat
    Are you fading?
    You need not the warmth of a coat
    Are you feeling pain?
    Don’t fight me, your will is shattered
    Are you weakening?
    It’s time you stopped… let yourself be flattered.




    Submitted on 2005-05-23 17:37:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Honestly.....I like the approach...there is sort of a daulism in its entirity...The ending gave away to a very different scenario "Are you weakening?.....It's time you stopped...let yourself be flattered"....I cannot express my feeling completely here but for some reason it got through to me.
    there is honesty in this piece........

    Peace....
    | Posted on 2005-05-29 00:00:00 | by forestspirit | [ Reply to This ]
      This was an interesting piece & i liked the format.

    Somehow it reminded me of a scene from The Vampire Chronicles?

    Well done
    Love,Peace,Joy!
    | Posted on 2005-05-26 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      different but likeable to certain standards.Difenitley.Umm you should spread your wings more in poetry.i like how you asked a question.. stated something and wrote something blunt after.i dunno i just like bluntness in poems.however i wouldnt give it a 5 outta 5. i would give it a 3 outta 5. you should revise it by putting more statments after the question.
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by Rainin_Raspbery | [ Reply to This ]
      It was different, it seem to flow but the ending did not seem to belong to the rest of the poem.
    I like how you made me feel but you still left me hanging in the end.
    | Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by suzanne | [ Reply to This ]



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