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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: let us rest in peacedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Alone
    Total Views: 732
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 709



    Description:
       please comment


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotslet us rest in peacedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Angels from the west
    Angels from the east
    Angels from the north and south
    Please let us rest in peace
    Angels from hell
    Angels from heaven
    Please let us rest in peace
    Angels of all bad
    angels of good
    Please let us rest in peace

    I will not seize asking these angel to let us rest in peace intell we get are way.

    Demons from the west
    Demons from the east
    Demons from the north and south
    Please let us rest in peace
    Demons from hell
    let us rest in peace.

    I will not seize asking these demons to let us rest in peace intell we get are way.
    just let us rest peace.




    Submitted on 2005-05-23 19:37:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      do you have these lyrics set to music? it would be interesting to hear how it sounds. i also wonder if the spellings are significant to your piece of writing. ie... do you want to make the association between seizing these angels and demons and not ceasing your demands until you get peace. also intell and until and are and our. it can be a clever use of words.. but i cannot see the significance here..and if the words are sung then phonetically there probably would not be sufficient difference for the audience to differentiate between any of them. the idea is pretty neat though and the repetition reinforces the whole build up and makes it very effective.
    you asked for comments... is this what you wanted from us? if not, perhaps you could be more specific and i would be happy to alter all this critique. good luck . J
    | Posted on 2005-08-17 00:00:00 | by Alter idem | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not sure I understand what it is you're trying to say with this. It was a little confusing. Are the spelling errors intentional or just oops?
    | Posted on 2005-05-24 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...this is one bad ass poem!...i loved how you used demons and angels as characters and what not.i think that's VERY cool...i loved the wording.very good.the flow...excellent...all in all...i loved it...good job!

    -AdRiAn
    | Posted on 2005-05-24 00:00:00 | by black_joker1292 | [ Reply to This ]
      well that was pretty good, no spelling errors and the flow of this poem is with it from start to finish, One thing i am not sure on when you are using directions aren't they supposed to be capital? i think they are but other then that it is fine my fav lines are
    "I will not seize asking these angel to let us rest in peace intell we get are way." and
    "I will not seize asking these demons to let us rest in peace intell we get are way.
    just let us rest peace."
    and why do i like them i really don't know i just do.
    ~liz~
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by Fadingperson | [ Reply to This ]


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