Description: This is a close cousin of "Fog Angels" (which is also posted here) in terms of style.
The Muting Effect Of Cold -------------------------------------------
Silence- as one’s heart beats
Changing it’s pace to match the rhythm of thoughts
that tie neatly like a ribbon- endearing to the chilling feel of their interior.
The content white heat can bring- always seems like magic
and after it’s course runs fully- a barrier for the cold is no longer wanted
because the wave of cool washes throughout the air and soul
like ice crystals falling from the air when clouds are frozen.
And the blue all around- is as quiet as frozen rain when it hits the ground-
and sinks further in- becoming something else.
Then when the ground grows warm again
further away from the surface,
you’ll realize why calm slow senses canceled the fear of blue
and let you fall back into the cold silently to begin with.
Hmmm... interesting. My suggestions are, for one, maybe to break it up a but more: make a space after each period; also, instead of making such long lines, you could half the lines, by makinhg a new line after each -. Also, for the 1st line, you could break it up after either "it's pace" or "to match", or maybe somewhere else: it's your decision. I like the concept behind this poem, but it needs a few revisions.
Submission Name: The Muting Effect Of Cold
