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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Forever Stay With Medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Di Re Rakord
    Elite Ratio:    3.56 - 130/125/30
    Words: 269
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1181
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1524



    Description:
       This is a poem for the woman i love and i want her to know how i feel. We are best friends so i dont want to fuck that up. Tell me how you would react if someone gave this to you.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsForever Stay With Medots
    -------------------------------------------



    Please don’t cry when I bleed,
    It’s not because of you its something I need.
    Don’t worry ill be alright,
    Just stay with me throughout the night.
    Please I need you now more than ever,
    I never want to leave your side, NEVER!!!

    The only reason I’m this sad,
    Is because I want something I cannot have.
    I wait and work, so many hours I spend,
    Only to find that I cant have my own happy end.
    But its alright Ill learn to deal,
    My heart is used to having it sealed.

    But like I said its ok,
    In a bit ill probably be on my way.
    Out in the after life I’ll sale,
    And behind will be this tortured body dead and pale.
    But please don’t leave me, not right now,
    I want to be by your side forever I just don’t know how.

    I hope someday you will understand,
    That I will love you forever but my time is not at hand.
    One day I hope it will be,
    And maybe then I will truly be happy.
    But I don’t want to ruin what we already have,
    Because our friendship means more to me than any happiness I could possibly grab.

    So stay with me for the rest of time,
    I will always be there, your shadow I will mime.
    So please be with me when I’m down,
    Because without you I’m probable to find a sea of blood in which to drown.
    So don’t leave me I love you forever,
    You’re my little star girl forever and ever.




    Submitted on 2005-05-23 20:51:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      god i know
    by bf just wont understand that i need to cut to live to be my closest exuse for happy
    he thinks im going to die

    i will rule hell
    tracy
    | Posted on 2005-12-12 00:00:00 | by bloodied_angel | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah, this is really good! I would feel really special! I can totally relate to this you know! My best friend was in love with me for 9 years and never told me until about a year ago! He was always there for me and we built a really strong bond. We are now together and the relationship is the best because of the friendship. If you get the chance I wrote a poem called "Friends First" about this very subject, check it out! I can tell you first hand that its worth the risk! Take care!
    | Posted on 2005-06-28 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Man, that is really sweet. I think even though it is sweet you are kind of maing it sound in the poem that you already know that things wouldn't work out right... I don't know if that is becuase of the cercumstance or what but it would kind of dampen my good thoughts about the poem if I got it. So those are my two cents.
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by sug90 | [ Reply to This ]
      Aww..this is really sweet Di! If I had someone give that to me, and they were my best friend...I honestly don't know what I'd do. Probably cry my eyes out, thats for sure. I hope in time things unfold, and it does work out for you
    ~Kat
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by MorbidAngel114 | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't think I would give this to her (if you haven't already) It's too pleading and puts her in a tight place if she doesn't feel the same. Some pieces of this poem are well done:

    Please don't cry when I bleed,
    it's not because of you, it's something I need.

    Other parts sound like they're forced:

    But it's alright...
    But like I said...

    Too many 'buts' too close together. Find a way to express your feelings without all the blood and death references. Perhaps 'imagining' what it would be like to share more than friendship. I think you obviously have talent and it shows. Dan
    | Posted on 2005-06-12 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought this piece was truly emotional and I didn't find it pleading but truthful and heartfelt. I don't know your circumstances but I wish you positive, loving times with your "little star girl". Love,Peace,Joy!
    | Posted on 2005-06-13 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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