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    dots Submission Name: I'm beautifuldots

    Author: Tinasha
    ASL Info:    20/Female/Oklahoma City
    Elite Ratio:    3.96 - 100/142/41
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 2023
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2818


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI'm beautifuldots

    I'm beautiful
         in the night

              when I'm not wearing my sunglasses
                   concealer foundation blush
                        and lipstick
         and my face shows no imprints
         from the stick
              off the branch off the tree
                   in the yard
         or the crowbar
    your favorite
    which leaves the ugliest scars

    I'm pretty in the dark
         when the shadows
              hide my tears
         and the bruises
              from the beers
    you inhaled
    after work
    No pain No gain
         face first in the dirt

    I'm gorgeous
         even with the plugs up my nose
              and the needles in my veins
              pills can silence more than a headache
    my seed goes unnamed

    No pain No gain
    my beauty remains
         powder on my neck
              thread on my eyes
                   no more tears will I cry
    nor will i hide
         in the shadows
              of broken bones
                   or battered skin
    Fatal pain Much gain

    My beauty shines well beyond
                                       my end

    Submitted on 2005-05-24 10:42:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i love the way you write...i would have to say you do indeed have talent. this is only the second writing of yours i've read...but it is the second of which i have fallen in love with.

    this is a very powerful piece in itself. its beautiful and strong. and very sad. but something serious and true. and all of these things make for good writing...and that is something you have definitely accomplished!
    | Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by vintagepepper | [ Reply to This ]
      also if you need me to show someone the right way to treat a woman you just let me know....and don't worry if he is bigger than me.....I have lots of friends that love this kind of a thing!
    | Posted on 2005-12-17 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]
      This was quite painful to read... and I mean that in an empathizing way... people who abuse others are no better than animals - worse in my opinion, for humans have a (presumably) higher intellect and scope for compassion.

    What makes this tragically beautiful to me is how you've risen above everything this person did to you, to still be a beautiful person - your own personal self-acknowledgment through writing this piece for others to read is testament to that... and it's very touching, throughout all the ugliness of these personal situations that you portray.

    I think your formatting gives this piece a shine above the rest in that it stands out - wanting to be read in a way... dreamy yet resolute in your perceptions, you give us the cadence and the timing in how you would want this to be read out by others.

    I think that the ending lines were definitely crunching and wonderful in closure... the rest was definitely not just window-dressing - that was almost insulting to read that part in that comment actually... I think everything leads up perfectly to that one truly wonderful statement of self-belief and love for oneself.

    My god, I've rambled on haven't I? It was moving and emotive, what else can I say? My heart goes out to you... no one should ever have this happen to them. But you shine above it all. And that gives me great relief and respect for your perseverance.


    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
      Mz. Tinasha welcome to my infamous fav list--This is waaaay different than your other stuff--I like it so much......the crowbar, the polls, the beers--good good stuff--ya see good writting comes from somewhere--we don'rt know where --but when it comes it's like finding your best friend...what.I like most is therun on sentances how they make sense two ways--clever and just my kinda poem-good job
    | Posted on 2005-12-11 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow amazing. Very powerful stuff. And yes, you are beautiful because no one other than a beautiful person could have written this. The visual and emotional impact of this work is excellent.
    Well done and thanks.
    | Posted on 2005-05-25 00:00:00 | by rankamateur | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, very powerful. I hope this is not happening to you in real life. While writting about it can be a great way of venting out your feelings, the only way to make it stop is by telling someone and letting them know what is going on so they can help you. From this side of the computer screen the ES community can only do so much. Its up to you to empower yourself to make it all end and start the healing process. Your poem was very powerful and while i was reading it I can just feel all the energy and blows. Keep writting and please seek help, were here whenever you need us.
    | Posted on 2005-05-24 00:00:00 | by Snowball_24 | [ Reply to This ]

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