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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I'll Always Crydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 255
    Class/Type: Poetry/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 526
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1566



    Description:
       i wrote this poem for the same person i wrote "kill you!" for. the plan was stupid and i knew that it wouldn't work but hey whatever, right? no, not really whatever. his current girlfriend (the one who helped us make the plan) was smart enough to trip rachel, me, and dante (the ex who i've been writing about) into going through with it, only dante didn't really know about the plan. he just knew it was to break up three people but he didn't know that it included me breaking up with him. yeah, he's stupid.
    see i'm not that cruel am i SAM? ha ha


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI'll Always Crydots
    -------------------------------------------


    i'm pulling out my hair,
    i wish that i will die.
    i'm sick of all the pain,
    and all these lonely tears i cry.
    i wish my life was over,
    and i wish that i was gone.
    i want to say, "I love you!"
    but for now its just, "So long."
    i'm sick of all this torture,
    and all the pain i've put us through.
    i want to say, "I'm sorry,"
    and "I still want to be with you."
    but i know that it won't happen.
    and i know i, too, would leave,
    but htink of what we've done,
    and all the things we did achieve.
    i know its my fault its over,
    but there was something i had to do.
    i watched as the plan back-fired,
    then i saw the plan hurt you too.
    i'm sorry that i hurt you,
    but still i was hurt too.
    i see you walk with her now,
    and so whats left for me to do?
    i wanted you to be mine,
    i loved you so much.
    my heart feel so lonely,
    without your lovely touch.
    i'll love you forever.
    about that i can't lie.
    you'll be in my broken heart,
    until the die that i die.
    i can't say i don't care,
    whether or not your mine.
    i love you, but i understand,
    that you hate me, and thats fine.
    but why did you say you love me?
    and why did i believe this lie?
    and, though, i'll always love you,
    at night i'll always cry!




    Submitted on 2005-05-24 14:06:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      You stole my thought.^_^Well..I liked it.I've tried to say this so many times and you just made my day.Thanx.Well another time.Good work,I hope to see more.
    | Posted on 2006-02-22 00:00:00 | by nosferotu_gurl | [ Reply to This ]
      this was very emotional. and very well written other than a couple typos. but other than that it is a really great write and read. great work keep it up. and im sorry that you are so hurt by the break up. and i hope that you feel better soon even though i know that is hard. good luck and keep writing
    | Posted on 2005-05-25 00:00:00 | by sweet_rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      this seemed like you where ranting, but it was better then a usually teen angest. You brought alot of questions, and emotions out. things alot of us ask when we are hurt. i think you did a good job of capturing the feeling-
    joy
    | Posted on 2005-05-24 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
      very nice poem, although sad. but I am a sad one too most of the time, so I can relate to your situation. I hope you will be able to make up with this person because it sounds as though he is very special and you have learned a lesson from it all. good luck! keep your hopes up. you just never know.
    | Posted on 2005-06-02 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      oh very nice, you can really feel what you're going through when you read this, the heartbreaking feeling and the absence of the person you cared for. oh my gosh. i love this piece, and i hope everything is better.
    | Posted on 2005-06-04 00:00:00 | by fabulousAMY | [ Reply to This ]
      this piece was good but the flow needs a little work. you could say more with less words. like where you said, "until the day that i die" could bring more power if you wrote it "until the day i die" other then that it was great! i can realte in many ways with this and i hope that you can resolve your pain. keep writing
    ~lauren
    | Posted on 2005-06-05 00:00:00 | by blahblahgurl | [ Reply to This ]
      keep the love in your heart. and let it flow through your body. love yourself and others will love you the same. think of all those warm cuddly puppy dogs.
    I love that your human
    tinman
    | Posted on 2005-06-06 00:00:00 | by Charmer | [ Reply to This ]
      real nice...i think love broken hearts romance is one of the most common topics ppl write about im not saysin its a bad thing but i think there is more to life than just loving on e person like finding out the truth...the meaning of life go beyond our imagination...anyways i have not started writing about those stuff as yet but will soon do so...please do check out my stuff n plz comment on the story i have writte'LIFE as we know it' its still not complete and also check out my lyrics n let me know wat u think
    well keep up the good work

    ciao,
    anoop
    | Posted on 2005-06-12 00:00:00 | by anooplokur | [ Reply to This ]
      You can feel the sadness emitting from this piece.You intertwine sadness , romance , and rhyming.I love it when people create more than one topic poems.This one , for instance.Nice job on this one and I'll look forward to your others.

    See 'ya,

    Sari
    | Posted on 2005-06-20 00:00:00 | by MoonlightSonata | [ Reply to This ]


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