Nails On The Chalkboard by longwinterdays

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Nails On The Chalkboard dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	longwinterdays
ASL Info:	18/f/wa
Elite Ratio:	4.75 - 182/174/51
Words:	88

Class/Type:	Poetry/Dark
Total Views:	253
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	583

Description:

Nails On The Chalkboard dots

-------------------------------------------

Drowning in this darkness that surrounds us
Barely able to breath through the smoke
Slipping in and out of mindlessness
And hoping for the worst

Consicious of the eyes of deciet following us around the room
Demanding pain from ever inch of our bodies
Falling away into the abiss of these bodies
And crying tears of hatred

Nails sliding down the chalkboard screeching to a halt
Coming to a sudden stop among these minds
Crying tears of beautiful confusion
And wishing that this were all over

Submitted on 2005-05-24 23:14:06 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
This poem is very descriptive and makes the pain come to life through words. Especially with the line "Demanding pain from ever inch of our bodies". I also like the line "Drowning in this darkness that surrounds us." Its a great line to start this poem. It sets the atmosphere well. Though I did notice something contradictory.
"And hoping for the worst"
"And wishing that this were all over"
It seems the narrator wants the pain and wants it to be over at the same time. But that is where the line "Crying tears of beautiful confusion" explains this. The narrator is extremely confused. All in all: it was a very interesting poem to read.
| Posted on 2005-05-30 00:00:00 | by Benjamin Marr | [ Reply to This ]
Hey there my mexican friends. j/k. Thought I'd see what your up to in writtin. You haven't been online in a while. Well anyways. I thought this was a good poem of yours. Only thing wrong is that you need to add a "y" at the end of everin the 6th line. Other than that it's good. :). Well hope to hear from you soon. bye.
| Posted on 2005-05-27 00:00:00 | by musclebound350 | [ Reply to This ]

Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
[ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.