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Sitting there in the dark eyes searching,
stressing to see.
Sweat pouring down my face.
I sit up in my bed scared of,
My head hurts so I raise my,
hand and touch my head.
As I remove my hand I see blood,
covering my hand.
I quickly look around.
I'm not in my room.
Where am I, am I still dreaming.
Unsure of what to do, I slowly
rise to my feet.
As I bruch off the dirt I start,
I remember being at a party,
wit some friends.
I know we were drinking, but
what happened to me.
I stood there and thought who was he.
I remember a man asking me,
I feel someone place a hand,
on my shoulder.
I turn and see God. He asked me
why I drank.
He held me in his arms and asked
if I was done watching the preview
of my life.
I replied yes as tears ran down my
I asked myself why I drank.
If I hadn't I would still be alive.
I wouldn't have to watch my life
story from heaven to remember,
I was rapped and beat to death.
If I hadn't been drunk this never
would have happened.
| also your title i think doesnt fit for this...you give the sense of fear, but you were not alone...maybe try to think of a new title that doesnt give out any answers...you should never, like i said, give people answers to what yor poem is about, they should relate in their own ways and figure it out for themselves...peace||| Posted on 2005-05-28 00:00:00 | by Rhaine | [ Reply to This ] || you could have played the part of being rapped and beaten up more...like when you said you had blood on your head...add more to that part...dont tell us it was god, just kinda hint at it...also dont tell people what your poem is about within the poem...alcohol is evil when used to cure the stress and pain...it shouldnt be illegal, adults just shouldnt buy it for kids.||| Posted on 2005-05-28 00:00:00 | by Rhaine | [ Reply to This ] || I dont think alcohol should be illegal. I wouldnt go that far. Bc you should be able to control your liquor, but i understand [censored] happens.|
This wasnt as good as it could have been. Well I think. It didnt have enough. . . umfh. . to it. Like I dont know, I guesss that you could have added something else, well Im not sure, but it was still good.
Hope to hear more from you.
|| Posted on 2005-05-25 00:00:00 | by Blindly-N-Love | [ Reply to This ] || well this isn't as good as the other one but it is still good even though i don't agree with the other users that achool should illegal but whatever every one has opions.well i think u learned the lesson the hard way. well hope to hear from u.||| Posted on 2005-05-25 00:00:00 | by seven11 | [ Reply to This ] || I agree with liliana1987, Acohol should be illegal...I'v given it up! was this poem a real thing? its very good. and very vivid.|
Love from Within
|| Posted on 2005-05-25 00:00:00 | by Thinkingofyou | [ Reply to This ] || was that a real occurence? i have been drunk before and i was raped as well, only i had a baby because of it. i know that my baby wasnt made from love, but i wouldnt give her up for the world. i think that alcohol should be illegal!||| Posted on 2005-05-25 00:00:00 | by liliana1987 | [ Reply to This ] |