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It's still my Heart

Author: painofthanatos
Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 684 /571 /86
Words: 84
Class/Type: Poetry /What you did
Total Views: 1075
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 643


my ex and i broke up so he could date another girl with my name...

It's still my Heart

Photographs stained with red,
stained with me...
Why should it matter any more?
It's still my name
You're calling out
Just With a Different Face

It's still my heart
You're breaking
It's still my heart
That needs your love
Just With a Fractured Beat

It's still your face
Behind my lids
It's still your memory
That graces my lips

And nothing really matters
When you're gone
The CD you gave me
Is skipping from being overplayed
-Just Like My Heart-

Submitted on 2005-05-25 12:00:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  hey i already commented but i just read it again and wanted to add something. arent i a b*tch? :-p

[[It's still my heart
You're breaking
It's still my heart
That needs your love
Just With a Fractured Beat]]

id be careful of this stanza because the first four lines lean a little towards being cliché. but the last line was great!

still a wonderful poem though. of course.
| Posted on 2005-07-24 00:00:00 | by sudie | [ Reply to This ]
  makes me think of my feelings concerning my ex-fiance. You're so sad it seems, always on a quest for the quintisential romance from all of the old movies. it's a nice bit of righting, if rather sad.
| Posted on 2005-05-30 00:00:00 | by cainboy | [ Reply to This ]
  ooooooooo this was so fu<king goooood! wow def a favorite, my my.....
my lines in question:

[[It's still your memory
That graces my lips]]
i never thought of a memory gracing a persons mean you think of kissing him/the intamincy (sp???) that yall used to share? just kinda threw me off...

and my only other thought was the last line...a tad cliché. for some reason i hate using the word "heart" because i feel like the word in general is over-used, no matter how you phrase it. but whatever you feel is best of course :)

anyway, i was going to comment on favorite lines (which i was definately hit hard by the first stanza) but i just couldnt pick any out because i love each one so much. wonderful, wonderful...:)
| Posted on 2005-05-27 00:00:00 | by sudie | [ Reply to This ]
  This was amazing, and I think you really have a great talent for putting your feelings out, and making such great poetry. First, I really love the title of the poem, and second them theme was lovely, and sad both at the same time.
"It's still my name
You're calling out" was a really great line. I'd love to read more from you.
Peace and love
| Posted on 2005-05-26 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]
  I like how you described your heart against the skipping CD being 'overplayed' very creative. I enjoyed this piece, you've expressed your feelings quite clearly, still painting the dark picture of pain. Good write indeed.

*hugs a plenty*
| Posted on 2005-05-26 00:00:00 | by SouthrnQT | [ Reply to This ]
  hm, i've never read anything like that and i love it. great job. i know these words are born from pain, but you have focussed your energy very well. "a Fractured Beat" <- that's awesome. daddy like.
| Posted on 2005-05-25 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
  What a di*k...excuse my language. But its just a name and I wouldnt take him back...I would rather bathe in the sorrow of him remembering what he lost everytime he calls out her name in disappointing times for him. Hee-hee. She may have the same name...but she will never have your heart or your soul. Have a good one.
| Posted on 2005-05-25 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]

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