The Broken Shadow by nebnim

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Submission Name: The Broken Shadow dots

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Author:	nebnim
ASL Info:	21 - Female - My Room
Elite Ratio:	4.01 - 284/405/75
Words:	103

Class/Type:	Poetry/Serious
Total Views:	227
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	650

Description:
I was 13 when I wrote this....um, I wasn't the happiest teenager in the world. The beginning line of each stanza (minus the last one) represents the same person "Masochistic Tendencies" was about.

The Broken Shadow dots

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Darkness, my savior
and I am your slave
(yes, I belong to thee)
This is the broken shadow of me

Light, my hell
but I am your captive
(how I despise thee)
This is the broken shadow of me

Master, my pain
crimson tears shed
(here is my offering to thee)
This is the broken shadow of me

Thunder, my beakon
I am under your spell
(as I bow my head to thee)
This is the broken shadow of me

Mirror, my reflection
in your marbled surface
And if I shattered thee?
this is the broken shadow of me

Submitted on 2005-05-25 19:06:08 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  i've felt this pain before but some how you described it some much better then i ever could. i am glad i read this. and no i was not the happyest of teens eaither in fact i was the epitimy of the word B*tch. but i used that as a monster front determined not to ever feel that kind of pain again.
i know what it is like to feel controled is a realtionship and to me this is what it feels like it is. well i must be going but i wanted to tell you that i really love this pice and i hope that you never have to feel that again it hurts and it is never worth it to sacrafice one's self for another who would not do it for you.
love and light
Archer
| Posted on 2005-05-27 00:00:00 | by Archer | [ Reply to This ]
  I've never been a relationship like this, so I guess I don't really have a personal understanding of the draw of people like this. On the other hand, the poem does a great job of expressing what an addictive relationship like this is like.

It's clear from the poem, that at the time it was written, you felt no love for him. What you had was an addiction to him, quite possibly strengthened by addictions to other things. In these kind of relationships, it seems we wrap up all of life into "the person that makes us whole". No matter how miserable the person makes us, we don't leave, because it's somehow become normal and we can't see doing things differently.

I'm glad you shed this piece of your life and moved on. Your stronger because of it.

Steve
| Posted on 2005-05-27 00:00:00 | by Lost Sheep | [ Reply to This ]
  i LOVE parenthesis... i really do... a lot of my work has it and it does take skill to use it correctly and you have done so brilliantly!

the way you have written this and the language you have used create a reverence but also a cold distance from the intended audience of this write. as the reader i feel like i am watching some scene through a partially cracked door and i feel the apprehension of being caught and yet i know i have to see the whole scene played out.

your first words of stanza's are all abstract ideas and yet you are slave to them in this piece which greatly interest me...

as i read you work i am jealous as you are able to express yourself in many different ways and yet everytime i am able to completely understand where you are coming from and i only wish one day i could write like that also... and to think you were 13... god i suck!
| Posted on 2005-06-05 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

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