Memory Loss by Brack-Attax

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Submission Name: Memory Loss dots

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Author:	Brack-Attax
ASL Info:	21/male/phx
Elite Ratio:	6.53 - 175/116/21
Words:	603

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	365
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1075

Description:
I wrote this at work one day in about ten minutes. I guess I had blank memories on my mind.

Memory Loss dots

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I'm broken,
peices are everywhere.
I can't remember,
the picture is out of focus.
It hurts...
erased, gone, without a trace.
It's dark, the light is gone.
Help!
I'm scared.
Who are these people?
They're saying my name.
Is that my name?
What do they want? Go away!...

... Wait! Don't leave.
Who are you guys?
Who am I?
Stay here.
Tell me please, I'm scared.

Submitted on 2005-05-25 23:10:41 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I like this piece. I had to giggle a bit when I was reading it, just because I could just see someone standing there telling people to get the heck away from them and then as they're walking away yelling for them to get back and talk to you. I wrote a piece that tackled memory loss, it's a scary thing to think about. Surprisingly, it's not the most difficult thing to write about either. I think just because at some point, just about everyone experiences some situation in which they can just completely wipe out of their mind, times when they could just forget who they are. Very interesting piece.

Candi
| Posted on 2006-05-24 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
  Don't be a scared. *giggles*This is cool. I like the simplisity of it. I know how easily it is to have it all together and the next have it all erased for no reason what so ever. It's actually kinda fun if you have nothing to do.

Great Job.

Rain
| Posted on 2005-06-25 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]
  ha ha... this is funny and great.. i love your poem they always make me laugh... this is pretty cool and tight..

kay
| Posted on 2005-08-07 00:00:00 | by Kay | [ Reply to This ]
  this different. Can say its great. I'v never come across somthing like this. But over all nice job. keep writing

Love from Within
| Posted on 2005-05-26 00:00:00 | by Thinkingofyou | [ Reply to This ]
  i have memory problems myself it is no picnic. i connect with this piece. i forget keys, my work phone, my route book for my job, even places im supposed to go, i forget to turn off the freeway causing me to miss exits. yeah this write im all too familair with. yet there are some things i never forget. it's one of those things i dont understand well, this selective memory i have. maybe it's a priorities issue, dunno just a few thoughts and connects. very good write, mike.
| Posted on 2005-08-07 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
  This is pretty cool, but I honestly have no way to critique it. It does a great job of communicating a kind of anonymous, amorphus fear.

Reallu unusual and neat.

Steve
| Posted on 2005-06-03 00:00:00 | by Lost Sheep | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow, this was amazing. My heart started to beat harder, my breathing became shallow...I became afraid. You did a wonderful job of describing what it feels like to be scared, truly terrified, of something...even if you can't see it, even if you don't know what it is you're scared of. Like when you wake up in the middle of the night, and you have that lingering feeling, knowing you just had a horrible nightmare, but you can't recall a single thing about it. This was wonderful! Thank you for the read. Be well
~Rachel~
| Posted on 2005-06-04 00:00:00 | by nebnim | [ Reply to This ]

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