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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: From the Nightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sweet_rayne
    ASL Info:    22/f/canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.81 - 479/454/108
    Words: 173
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 203
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1028



    Description:
       i really do not know why i wrote this but yeah i hope you all enjoy it


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFrom the Nightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Hiding in the darkness
    Filled with pain
    Lies the fear of
    Never being sane
    When from the night
    Comes new light

    The walls I build
    Are much too high
    To climb and see the other side
    And so I stay on this bumpy ride
    When from the night
    Comes new light

    Brick by brick, inch by inch
    I laid the foundation
    To block out the world
    To hide the emotions you did not want to see
    When from the night
    Came a new light

    Little by little, chip by chip
    The walls I built start to fall
    And you begin to see
    The things I hide from you and me
    When from the night
    Comes a new light

    As my walls start to tumble
    And I begin to fumble
    I begin to see myself
    And learn I cannot put my world upon a shelf
    So no more dark nights
    When I see the coming of a new light




    © sweet_rayne




    Submitted on 2005-05-26 01:44:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was a really good poem Joy. Usually, a reptitive poem that has 2 lines repeated often like yours, gets a little too reptitive and distracts the reader. But yours fits wonderfully, and doesn't at all get too repititive (did that make sense? lol) I liked how you started with a wall, then it ended up crumbling in the end (kind of reminds me of Me and Jason) This was a really good write, and I honestly think you are TONS better than what you started out as. Keep up the good work hun!
    ~Kat
    | Posted on 2005-05-29 00:00:00 | by MorbidAngel114 | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice Joy. Amazing would be an understatement for this poem. I notice that you reference walls in many of your poems, I also noticed that you mentioned that you can not put your life on a shelf, That reminded of something else I read of yours. I'm not sure what but It just does. I like this poem a lot. I like at the end when you were describing the walls falling down. I think that is a good thing if they are. I am so happy that you wrote some new stuff for me to read, although I am sure that is not the only reason you wrote this, but I like it anyways. I hope to hear from you soon babe. Bye... SAM
    | Posted on 2005-05-26 00:00:00 | by Samuel Bielz | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved this poem. I felt like you were inside my head when you wrote this! I have done the same thing. I build a wall so nobody can see the real me, my real emotions. It has taken a big toll on me though. Eventually, someone does start to chip at the wall, and when they get through, all of your emotions just come pouring out. This was a great write! The repetition of the last two lines worked really well in this. Good job!
    | Posted on 2005-05-26 00:00:00 | by Geraldine | [ Reply to This ]
      this was really good
    great imagry and references
    once again i believe me and you are very simulare in thinking but you dont realize why you write the things you do well keep up the good work just look deeper into why you do write things
    kristen
    | Posted on 2005-06-15 00:00:00 | by darkonesgirl | [ Reply to This ]


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