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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Revelationdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: SouthrnQT
    ASL Info:    24/ Female/ Florida
    Elite Ratio:    4.51 - 290/271/31
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1272
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 688



    Description:
       Yes, to answer your question, it's about my Mr. Wonderful. It's funny, I call him 'MY' Mr. Wonderful, even though he's not really 'mine' yet. But I do hope it ends up that way. he's amazing.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Revelationdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Fear and doubt
    They sit upon my shoulder
    Love and Trust
    They sit upon the other

    He has subdued the darkness
    Volumized the light
    Blazing like a bonfire
    Turning my sorrows to ashen memories

    Though I never sought out love
    He's delivered it
    Though I never thought I'd smile again
    He's given me a reason

    The scars now vanishing
    He's my sanctuary
    In all he does, and in all he'll do

    I'll stand beside him

    I believe in his love for me
    I believe in his faith in God

    I believe in Him.




    Submitted on 2005-05-26 10:10:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This piece read like a blank canvas, the words written are stretched upon an easel waiting for this story of love to be told. The form was good, and it flowed well.
    | Posted on 2005-07-27 00:00:00 | by Malcolm Bishop | [ Reply to This ]
      There's a lot of innocence in this piece. Plain, simple, young love without any worries, questions or doubts. I hope you truly have this love or can make it happen. I'm sorry that you're journal seems a little less rosy.

    "Blazing like a bonfire
    Turning my sorrows to ashen memories"

    This was a really good job or stringing words together with originality.

    "I believe in his love for me
    I believe in his faith in God

    I believe in Him."

    I think you left your ending vague on purpose, to give it two meanings, you believe in the man and you believe in God. If that was your thought, as an alternative, you might want to consider two lines.

    "I believe in him
    I believe in Him".

    Great work in any event,
    Steve
    | Posted on 2005-07-14 00:00:00 | by Lost Sheep | [ Reply to This ]
      First let me say, I wish that your dreamof marrying him come true. I really loved this part:

    He has subdued the darkness
    Volumized the light
    Blazing like a bonfire
    Turning my sorrows to ashen memories

    That's as poetic as it get.

    Very good write and the meaning of it, just rocks
    | Posted on 2005-06-30 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      This was good! But I think it could use something more to bring it to life. It shows that you are in love but how much in love what would you do for it how far can your faith be tested dig deep and bring your real emotions out in this, It has the potential for it really it does. I have read your work on here and I have seen your emotions pour out in them. And by the way good luck with your Mr. Wonderful he seems like a great guy. ~~Donna~~
    | Posted on 2005-05-27 00:00:00 | by ThatWasOnceMe | [ Reply to This ]
      oh wow. this was really good! i felt the emotion all the way, and there were so many indescribable ones...it was great. you must be REALLY into this dude...hahahalol. nice flow...nice words. nothing to bust!

    keep it up
    nirvana
    | Posted on 2005-05-26 00:00:00 | by Nirvana | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, nice anthem, almost could be a religious piece, you know?

    I really liked the simplistic, plain adoration you've put into this, it really did it for me.
    Well done
    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-05-26 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      I have to agree it sounds like you are falling really hard for this guy, the poem is nicely written...every girl wants this..or at least I do...hope everything works out for better with you and your "Mr. Wonderful"
    | Posted on 2005-05-26 00:00:00 | by inkonspikuous | [ Reply to This ]
      Sounds like somebody's got a crush! Big time...Aren't you a little too old for crushes? LOL

    This was beautifully written. It started off very stronger and softened up for the hopeful ending. The line "I believe in his faith in God" just shows how much you believe he is the one. Nice one...

    X
    | Posted on 2005-05-26 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
      Be careful when it comes to him. He has that effect on ALOT of girls at first. Trust me, i ONLY say this for YOUR benifit! I have been in your shoes before. He is a great sweet talker...And i know, he will be furious for me leaving this comment, but hey, this is girl to girl.
    | Posted on 2005-06-01 00:00:00 | by Peachpitt | [ Reply to This ]
      Howdy :) I think this poem can be interpretted in a couple of ways :) ONe way, based on the description, is about a guy you really like love...the capitization of the Him makes him almost Godlike :) the other interpration that this about the love of God. <shrug> It's cool that it can be read either way <either that or I've had too much coffee and the caffiene is playing tricks on my brain> :)

    Regardless, this was enjoyable and fun to read :)

    StW
    | Posted on 2005-06-07 00:00:00 | by Stwcjj | [ Reply to This ]
      This was good!it was beautifully written. It started off very stronge and softened up for the hopeful ending.hope everything works out for better with you and your "Mr. Wonderful". great write. lia
    | Posted on 2005-06-13 00:00:00 | by lili | [ Reply to This ]


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