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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: FU<KING FAKEdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 198
    Class/Type: Poetry/I hate you
    Total Views: 783
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1273



    Description:
       i wrote this for a girl at my group home who really deserves to die... and she will. anyway.; i hope you all like it. she is such a hater and a snitch. i can't stand snitches. damn her!!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFU<KING FAKEdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Iíll kill you fucking ass hole.
    Iíll rip out your fucking eyes.
    You ruin everything I do.
    I hope your family dies.

    Iíll kill your fucking lovers,
    Iíll kill your best friends too.
    And if you have a problem,
    Then here is what Iíll do!

    First Iíll cut your hair off.
    Then your fingers will be gone soon.
    Iíll hang your fucking ass,
    Out where its dark and is no moon.

    Iíll kill you stupid fucking bitch.
    Iíll make you fade away.
    You think that I donít know you?
    Well fine, IíLL KILL YOU ANYWAY!!

    If you have a problem with my plan,
    Thatís fine, I do not mind.
    Iíll kill your fucking mother,
    And Iíll roast her fat behind.

    Iíll kill youíre little sister,
    Iíll kill the older one too.
    Iíll kill your fucking brothers.
    Now what are you going to do.

    Iíll kill everyone you know.
    And Iíll kill everyone you love.
    I wonít take it anymore.
    I remember every time Iíve been shoved.

    You wonít be here anymore,
    Your bullshit I wonít take.
    You think your fucking everything?!
    Well I know your fucking fake!




    Submitted on 2005-05-26 14:53:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, this was a good write. Agressive, very agressive. But I needed it... or at least I think I needed it. Gives me a look back on some of my earlier writes, you know the angry phase. Where you just want to rip everyone's hearts out... yeah, that was a good time to write. anyway, Yeah. There were a few typos in this, like:

    "well I know your a Fu<king Fake"

    when it should be

    "Well I know you're a Fu<king Fake"

    so yeah, I'm not pressuring you to change it, just letting you know that it is there. So yeah, THNX

    - Kyle
    | Posted on 2006-02-27 00:00:00 | by Namlooc20 | [ Reply to This ]
      thanx for your comment on gibberish its good to read a ha ha once in awhile writing to many dark poem makes me a little crazy

    your post was great and too the point
    my only advice is not to make it so personal when i write a poem in that hateful mode i try not to use the word kill just in case something bad might happen to that person and the first person they look at would be you no who, no bad intent given just a point of view

    great write
    thanx sandman
    | Posted on 2006-02-09 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow.Im again at a loss for words.Definately getting into the emotion and can relate but I doubt any of us has the will to do it risking living behind bars for the rest of our lives.Ive wanted to do somethin like this a few times and came close and once or twice had no fear for the cell but not being able to achieve my dreams and say I WIN held me back,got me to this point.Later
    | Posted on 2006-02-02 00:00:00 | by nosferotu_gurl | [ Reply to This ]
      I am not really sure if I liked this. It was a little too explicit for me. Wishing death upon someone is...well...pretty much a sign of immaturity. Sorry to say it like that...but...I have plenty of enemies and even though I would love to beat the shiyit out of them...I would never wish death upon them. Death is something very serious. Why bistow that on others when you wouldn't want it bestowed on yourself...or maybe you do which is a little more morbid...

    In the long run...sometimes those who snitch and hate...just long for attention. Instead of always looking into the bad side of people try to find the good. And if that isn't possible...sure...beat the shiyit out of them...but death is never the answer.

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2006-01-18 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice poem I like tha way you put it the stanzas are great through the whole thing and seems like you put a lot of effort in to this by the way it sounds.
    I like the way you write out your problems and they way you think but most of all you sound fake, just kiddin.
    Love Gmann
    | Posted on 2006-03-07 00:00:00 | by Gmann | [ Reply to This ]
      lol, this is hilarious. The rhyming was pretty much standard and the flow was okay but te content.. I nearly broke my shi-t laughing! I could just picture some angry little girl pointing her finger at me and screaming her head off. Very angry and angsty.

    - Sethesin
    | Posted on 2005-11-10 00:00:00 | by Sethesin | [ Reply to This ]
      You are the first person to ever make me feel intimidated in any way shape or form. I have gone up against many foes i am 6'0 215 pounds but even if ur 3 foot i still wouldnt want to get on your bad side. Way to make me feel like a little person who cant defend himself. Harsh words but good poem. I want another one just like it so keep up your great work.
    | Posted on 2005-09-13 00:00:00 | by wallya20 | [ Reply to This ]
      damn! i truly understand how you feel. i was just like you once; having thoughts about taking other's lives. death is part of a cycle, but murder creates a circle. meaning, if you kill someone, then someone will try to kill to you. and if they succeed, then someone else will wish upon their death too. that circle will continue! if you really do feel that way and do plan to take action, then maybe you should take the time to think of a better remedy than death or suffering. i would be like everyone else and say you need therapy, but they can only help you if you want to be helped! i feel your pain and anger! but all in all, this is still a poem that i like...b/c i hate fake people as well. and then i like dark morbid poetry! keep writting and expressing yourself! peace & bless
    | Posted on 2005-07-21 00:00:00 | by L.i. | [ Reply to This ]
      ok... im guessing this was a bit of a vent! Well, you certainly conveyed your message loud and clear, good job with that. I was a bit scared by the end- there is a lot of anger here but it was probably good to get it all out. Um can't see anything wrong with the flow or rhyming except this stanza

    First Iíll cut your hair off.
    Then your fingers will be gone soon.
    Iíll hang your [censored] ass,
    Out where its dark and is no moon.

    doesnt make much sense to me. If you worked on the arrangement of the words it will be much better.
    Good and angry work.
    | Posted on 2005-05-27 00:00:00 | by dark-red-pain | [ Reply to This ]
      YOU REALLY REALLY NEED A HUG...or maybe a puppy...or, if you want to kill the puppy, you should get a kitten instead Do you like clowns?
    | Posted on 2005-05-26 00:00:00 | by Charmer | [ Reply to This ]
      This was good, you could really feel the rage seeping through each line. Its obvious that you really hate this girl and thats both good and kinda frightening. Its good because with emotion like that you can write like you just did but it scares me because I dont want to get on your bad side. well anyway great job and I hope to be reading more of your work soon!

    Karen
    | Posted on 2005-05-26 00:00:00 | by kp_2007 | [ Reply to This ]
      WOWEEE!

    I am so glad I happened upon this rant!

    I was just working (in my mind) of something on a similar vein, but I won't bother now, this is perfection.
    Pure hate, pure venom, pure threat, you have an answer in here for everything!

    This is way outside my normal favorite, but I need to send others to read it, to feel the emotion and the intensity you've put into this.
    Nothing wrong with a bit of HATE!

    You go, girl,

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Oo I soo understand that feeling! Someone pushes you and pisses you off to the point you just want to hang them with thier own intestines! ahem..Great work, good form and very articulate. I fu<king HATE fake people!
    Traci :)
    | Posted on 2005-06-09 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]


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