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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Where You Left Offdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Rainin_Raspbery
    ASL Info:    18/F/Edmonton,AB, Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.69 - 142/116/83
    Words: 203
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 426
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1381



    Description:
       Imm not sure.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhere You Left Offdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You can run-off,
    And Marry her,
    My so called Best Friend,
    Just remember im torn,
    Of the distruction,
    You've centred in my heart.

    You said you'd be my hero,
    The one i could count on,
    When everything fell apart,
    And unravled.

    You also said you'd be my prince,
    and make sure that i was taken care of,
    I guess you figured,
    I grew old enough,
    To handle my self.

    It's been months since,
    We spoke our last words,
    Even then you weren't sure,
    She was the one.

    You bought her a ring for what,
    To show her parents that something,
    They didnt think you had.

    My Best friend stole you,
    You the one i'd die for,
    Anyday of the week,
    The only person i truly cared,
    Even still to this day,
    That still stands,
    Feelings dont just waste away,
    Like a rotting banana,
    You understand that right?.

    So be happy,
    Cause if your sad,
    I guess ill have to interfere,
    For your sake,
    And My love for you.

    I love you,
    Member that,
    Always and Forever,
    If you need me,
    You know where i am,
    Just find me in your heart,
    Where you left off.




    Submitted on 2005-05-26 21:23:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      UMM IS THIS A TRUE LIFE INCIDENT
    THEN IM SORRY . BUT KEEP IN MIND DEATH ISNT THE ANSWER OR THE END ,THIS IS TO YOUR JOURNAL
    | Posted on 2007-04-27 00:00:00 | by SAMEER | [ Reply to This ]
      I dont meet saints or angels everyday, but which one are you?
    | Posted on 2007-04-04 00:00:00 | by FallenAngelJC | [ Reply to This ]
      I am really amazed at your forgiving nature. Your love for this person must be immense and certainly unconditional as you could look past all that he has done to your heart and let him back in again. I must commend you for that because I certainly couldnt do it. I find it admirable that you can even still speak fondly and express your love for him considering all that happened. How devestating this must have been. A nice poem you have here! He lost something special when he left you! Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-10-05 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      I've read a couple of your poems now, and one thing i can see that isn't consistent is your stanza usage, i know its hard, because i do it too.
    Try to keep your Stanzas of an equal amount of lines, it will flow better. My only negative comment, other than that you pick good subjects to write a bout and you manage to portray your feelings well. As shown in the last Stanza;
    Always and Forever,
    If you need me,
    You know where i am,
    Just find me in your heart,
    Where you left off.
    Those last 5 lines were brilliant, they give the reader something to relate too.
    One other thing try to refrain from shortening words " Member " You could easily have "remember that" and it would still flow.
    Just my opinion of course,
    Keep Writing,
    Danny
    | Posted on 2005-05-27 00:00:00 | by corruptedspirit | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, that must have sucked, I can only try and imagine how much that must have hurt. I've been breaking recently, ive already fallen of the edge, but i havnt hit the bottom it seems like. But ask yourself, could you or have you forgiven both of them? Cause I belive that forgiveness is gods greatest power. Thanks though, Alot of emotion must have been poured into this write, and it shows.
    | Posted on 2005-06-22 00:00:00 | by Drayke | [ Reply to This ]



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