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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Feelingsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dx10687
    ASL Info:    22 / M / IA
    Elite Ratio:    2.62 - 13/19/18
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Story/Love
    Total Views: 681
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 655



    Description:
       wrote when i started going out with my girlfriend and she had just left town.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFeelingsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Feelings

    (Slow song when sung)

    Love is a complicated
    When you are new to it
    You donít know what to say
    And you donít want to screw it up
    Especially when you like the person
    Because before we started talking
    I was always feeling depressed
    But then I asked you out
    And you said yes
    Then it was as if
    The hole in my
    Heart had been filled
    Then you left to go to KC
    And then it was as if the hole
    In my heart had come back again
    But now you are back in town
    And the hole in my heart
    Is filled once again




    Submitted on 2005-05-27 10:30:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hi, Very good poem, but I would take out the 'ands.' Keep writing! You could also use punctuation. Other than that, it's well done.

    Warm regards, susie:)
    | Posted on 2005-05-27 00:00:00 | by susie | [ Reply to This ]
      sounds more like a letter but if u have the passion then use it. im sure for who this was intended u got the point across.so keep it up if u came to this site u r willing to take this somewhere
    | Posted on 2005-05-27 00:00:00 | by kristian | [ Reply to This ]
      Love can be a good thing and can be a bad thing, this write seamed to be more venting the poetry. Keep writing anf I'll keep reading. But do tey a little harder next time, you do have some good qualities in your work.
    god bless,

    illusions35904
    | Posted on 2005-05-27 00:00:00 | by illusions35904 | [ Reply to This ]


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