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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Think about itdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Archer
    ASL Info:    17/female/Oregon
    Elite Ratio:    4.83 - 118/148/51
    Words: 212
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 287
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1245



    Description:
       i had a dicsussion in class to day about what beauty is. the vote was that it is only skin deep. but what about what lies inside. have we truly lost all sight to what matters most? The heart. i appologize to all of those that this offends but is it truth? i'll let you decide.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThink about itdots
    -------------------------------------------


    What attraction is there?
    To muddled skin,
    And sun dyed hair?

    I look in the mirror
    And think of the past.
    Of a body I could have,
    And of the beauty that would not last.

    Do I repulse you?
    With my stretch marks,
    And scars of war.
    My low cut shirts,
    You call me a whore.

    Do you really see me?
    Past the chest to the pain
    God you people make me sick.
    What do you expect to gain?

    Where in this world is love?
    Did it ever truly exist?
    If you think that life is about popularity
    And labels there, is something I have missed.

    You base your love lives
    On fairytales, and folklore,
    Yet when I find love and speak of it,
    You say that I should find something more.

    Nothing will add up to your standards,
    As long as the superficial is your goal.
    You have to find peace in the reality,
    Instead of the media to make you whole.

    Do you know what pain you cause?
    When you judge me with out my heart.
    If you did you would see I am beautiful.
    And yet you still tare me apart.




    Submitted on 2005-05-27 13:45:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Part of the problem besides just T.V and magazines are simply is being male. Being male make things more difficult because men are are more visually stimulated and so if you're not at least a little sexually attracted than thing just simply won't work. It's not fair to be in a relationship and feel like your settling. I don't think that the exterior should be all that matters and I find that if you fall in love with someone even if you weren't attracted to tham before that they become more and more beautiful with each passing moment. This was a well word way to challenge what is beauty and to vomit those forcefed sterotypes back up. Now a few technichal things; just small things really, "Do you really see me?
    Past the chest to the pain" In this line I feel a comma would be helpful after past the chest, It just reads easier. Tare should be tear and also with out in this case should be without.
    | Posted on 2005-05-27 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]
      You go girl! This was well put together, a spectacular rant! To many times we get stuck on designer labels, fancy shoes, hair gel. It's nice to see someone saying, Nope, look at ME.

    You didn't hold to any type of consistant meter, but it worked for me. A poem about breaking out of pre-established concepts needs to break, or at least bend, the rules of poetry.
    The only suggestion I have for this is that in the last stanza, last line, the word "tare" should be "tear".
    Good job, and if anyone's offended by this, they need to re-analyze what's really important in life.
    -Chell
    | Posted on 2005-05-27 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]



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