[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: A Rockdots

    Author: ThatWasOnceMe
    ASL Info:    30/F/NC
    Elite Ratio:    3.71 - 197/194/53
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 905
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 598

       Hey Hyperzone Sorry it took so long to post this but here it is.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Rockdots

    Trampled upon and kicked all around
    No one takes time to stop and notice me
    They just leave me laying on the ground
    That seems to be my design for this life

    Always perceived to be strong and solid
    Enduring all I am prone to be put through
    Even when I am kicked around all the time
    But there is something that no one knew

    All the crushing kicks force me to crumble
    No one believed that I could be so delicate
    So I am left on the ground so you can stumble
    That seems to be the reason for me in your life

    Submitted on 2005-05-27 14:54:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I was hoping it would turn out to be a crack rock- but then I just had to pick it out the tread of my shoe. Lolful! You are taking to the challenges though, apparently. I just want a Pizza Party... and maybe a crack rock. I lyke to get wett! Sorry... Iím done. Nice metaphor though with thys one... late! ~Six-
    | Posted on 2005-05-30 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
      This one kind of sounds like me. Not physically strong but people expect me to be the person who never brakes. They just feel like they are obligated to put everything on me. You did a pretty good job here.
    | Posted on 2005-05-27 00:00:00 | by SonAsylum | [ Reply to This ]
      A good write.. Sounds like someone has (or is) taking advantage of you. If so, you should not let it continue... Get up and kick some ass. I'm only kidding (lol) but really you should let them know you're not going to take it anymore. You deserve better than that.

    In 2nd line "an" should be "and".
    I sort of slowed down in the 2nd stanza until I realized you had changed the rhyme scheme..which is fine..it just caught me off guard.

    Take Care!
    | Posted on 2005-05-27 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a beautiful two-faced poem. you write about the rock but that's not really it... ooohh, hidden meaning!
    sorry, i'm on a HUGE sugar high right now and am not exactly thinking clearly.
    i like what you've written and appreciate what you've put into this. lovely job.
    -the wildchild
    | Posted on 2005-05-27 00:00:00 | by wildchild | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]